Home >> Humor/Satire >> Are You a Purple Penguin?

Are You a Purple Penguin?

This story goes in my “Administrators gone wild” file. It seems a Nebraska school district is instructing its teachers not to use the terms “boys and girls,” “ladies and gentlemen,” “you guys,” well, you get the idea. Why? Because they don’t include gender non-confirming terminology and therefore causes confusion for those few children who don’t identify with any specific gender. Simply put, it’s just not inclusive of all.

To make sure that we include everyone and no one feels slighted they have decided the proper inclusive terminology for young kids is to call them “purple penguins.” Because that isn’t confusing at all?

Now we have to change everything because a few kids in the class are being told by their parents that they don’t have to “choose” a gender (like you choose a pair of shoes?) until they’re comfortable doing so. Instead of teaching a child what gender they were born into, they make sure the child lives in a sort of “Gender Twilight Zone” until they can decide what direction to go in. Don’t believe me? Look up the movement to stop hospitals and doctors from “pronouncing gender” on a baby when “it” is born. Yes, the crazy train is close at hand.

This is probably that same group of “$%#*%^” people that said “we can’t keep score at Little League games because it makes the losers feel bad. We shouldn’t give letter grades because it makes the kids feel bad. Don’t mark a paper in red pen, it makes the kids feel bad. Really? Stop all the nonsense and just say, “Let’s not challenge our children because if everything goes the way of the Progressive Left they won’t have to excel at anything, the government will take care of them.” The only definite in these people’s lives is that sane rational thought needs to go.

Administrators feel that by calling them purple penguins it allows the children to be free thinkers. They go on to say, that we should stop asking the kids to line up as boys and girls, and instead, ask them to line up by who likes, skateboards or bikes, dogs or cats, summer or winter. Before guiding the kids, consider the question, “will this create a gender spectrum?”

People, the inmates are running the asylum. Though I have great respect for the “shrinks” of the world, they are not all on the same page on this issue. For them, it’s not an exact science. Some doctors tell you kids need definites in their lives, solid boundaries. They need to know who and what they are. Some say noooooo they need to be able to explore their inner self and look at the world in different ways. Ok, sure, now which one is right?

So they chose penguins as an inclusive, gender non-specific option. Penguins are a gender-specific, traditional family-oriented species. According to LiveScience.com, most penguins are monogamous, at a minimum, for the duration of the mating season, and in many cases, for most of their lives (married forever). Researchers have found that penguins re-paired with the same partner 82 percent of the time and certain species of penguins re-paired 90 percent of the time. Better than the human divorce rates.

Each gender has their designated roles, according to LiveScience.com. The male (gender specific) usually starts the mating ritual and will pick out a nice nesting site before he approaches a female. (Wow! All those choices without including her?) After mating, the female emperor penguin will lay a single egg. The female (gender specific) of this species will place the egg on the male’s feet to keep warm in his fat folds while she goes out and hunts for several weeks.

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So with all this exclusive, gender-specific, family-valued system, how did the loons on the Left choose purple penguins to be the “inclusive, non-gender-specific” alternative to “boys and girls?” Coin toss? Everyone loves penguins?
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About Joe Messina

Joe is a no-nonsense, conservative realist. He is not interested in “what if?” or “we could have!” He is interested in hearing both sides and has no problem taking on taboo issues with real questions looking for real answers. Racism, religion, and politics are all open season for topics, and he’s happy to offer up his opinion in the process! Joe is an engaging speaker mixing a healthy dose of sarcasm with the cold, hard facts, interacting with the audience, taking questions, and often playing “devil’s advocate”… just to make you to think! Actively engaged in community, church, and politics for well over a decade, Joe enjoys the reputation of being a man of integrity and ethics. He has had several successful businesses and held several executive positions with various Fortune 1000 companies. He is often sought after to teach classes his “black and white breakdown” of business ethics. If you like to “stir the pot” a little and you don’t want to hear any more political correctness, Joe is your guy! Just name a topic… politics, religion, racism, or most any current event. Joe can be heard daily across the airwaves and over the internet on several stations.

One comment

  1. Wow! Can’t you just hear the Delivery room doctor now? “Congratulations! You have a bouncing baby penguin!! I now have a box of crayon demanding equal rights. They feel they’re discriminated against! Strange, I can’t call a football team ‘Redskins”, but I can call a baby a penguin. Amazing how people want a flash of spotlight so bad they make a jackass out of themselves…Oh, wait! I probably should say “Democrat”…Must be true that you can’t cure stupid…

    This will turn the clothing industry topsy turvey to unload current inventory and replace it with purple tuxedos

    Bet the penguins aren’t too thrilled either.

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