Recently, I wrote a piece called “Why So Many Women Have Given Up On Dating”. The crux of it struck a note with some and nerve with others, both of which landed me on numerous podcasts and radio shows to discuss it. I’d suggest that you read that piece prior to continuing on here so that you may get the gist of my words and understand why they went viral.
What I found incredibly interesting and saddening in reviewing many of the comments from men in relation to this particular article, per se, is how incredibly disillusioned so many men are with the opposite sex. And how misunderstood they feel by them, leading to them “opting out” of the practice of dating just like women. I shouldn’t have to explain the dangers of where such discourse and divide could lead. Humanity’s survival is dependent upon procreation between the opposite sexes. If neither side is “wanting” because both have been left with bad tastes in their mouths as a result of each other, that hardly bodes well for our survival.
And yet, plenty of men are viewing dating and marriage as having little to offer them these days. So why embrace the entanglement. Highlighting a few of the key takeaways from the comments shared by men below, it is hard to overlook how men are feeling presently about the manner in which they are being wrongly characterized as well as the pressures and resentment they have become exhausted by to the extent that a commitment to a woman seems no longer appealing.
- Men are tired of being depicted as the bad guy by society and, in that, women;
- Teaching kids, especially those of the opposite sex, to distrust men is doing them and the future of humankind a disservice;
- Female narcissism and entitlement is real and endured by men just as it is women. Just more overlooked;
- Women are viewed as ‘getting a free pass’ on just about everything today as opposed to men who bare stiff penalties for wrong-doings;
- The effort men have to put into having a relationship today seems one-sided, completely opposite of yesteryear;
- Men incur tremendous criticism by a portion of female society today that views them as having “no redeeming qualities;”
- Anger and hatred of men among women has escalated to a point of real concern placing men constantly on-guard;
- Men are coping with feelings of futility when it comes to making things work between men and women today;
- Men feel as if they were forced to conform to a movement (feminist) hugely impacting them yet without any input from them;
- The sex is no longer worth the commitment, because the price is too high;
- And finally, there seems to be a lack of honesty and forthrightness between the sexes and that is adding to the mess of it all.
Whether you agree or not, you have to take a look at the above points of contention and recognize how a significant number of men are feeling at present time. Denying them isn’t going to solve our issues and just adds another obstacle to overcoming an enormous problem between men and women today. To quote one commentator,
“If women really and truly find nothing to like in men, I am inclined to agree with Ms. Wellington that this isn’t a good sign for society. We depend on each other, whether we like it or not,”–Hazlit
As well as another,
“We all need to understand that we are human, not perfect beings. Our task is to learn how to accept and help each other live together, despite our imperfections,”–Sean T Atteridge
Frankly, given what is on the line if men and women don’t come back together cohesively, I think we all need to work towards the “good of the whole” and stop pretending that we don’t need each other. That’s a falsehood that will only serve to guarantee a day in the future when we no longer have the luxury of “pointing the finger” at each other. Where you can prevent extinction through greater understanding, proactive effort, and care, why not? The responsibility is all of ours, with no place for selfishness to be had as being “right” and “dead” is still “dead” ultimately.
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