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Tag Archives: Humor/Satire

President Obama Decrees 19 Laws of Economics

barack-obama

President Obama decreed the following 19 laws of economics: Everyone should get everything for free without paying for it. Anyone should be able to demand that other people work to pay for his wants and needs. Making people work to support their own lives is mean and is therefore unnecessary. If someone forces others to work for him, it shall ...

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BREAKING: Mainstream Media Uncovers Looming “Fiscal Cliff,” Overlooks “Fiscal Abyss”

Fiscal-Cliff

Mainstream media outlets are now warning of the United States’ impending “fiscal cliff” after months of vigorous investigative journalism and heated legal battles forced the Obama administration to grant a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request for documents detailing federal budget projections. The subject documents, which have been publicly available through the Congressional Budget Office’s (CBO) website, like, forever, show ...

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Top World Reactions to Obama’s Re-election

cairo

Celebrations spontaneously erupted in the Muslim World after learning the news that Obama will return to office. The terrorist community was exuberant that Obama will be back to provide more weapons-trafficking in the Middle East. Above is a photo of a Libyan militia member flashing the victory signal to the president. Russian strongman Vladimir Putin wept tears of joy that ...

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Lab Test Finds Traces of “Date-Rape Drug,” GHB, on Lena Dunham’s 2008 Election Ballot

Ballot_Box

A recent Obama campaign ad featuring Lena Dunham, star and head writer of HBO’s hit series, Girls, likening her 2008 vote for Barack Obama to losing her virginity has come under fire as lab results uncovered traces of GHB, commonly referred to as the “date-rape drug,” on her 2008 presidential ballot. The subject campaign ad features a bubbly Dunham recalling ...

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White House Dog, Bo: “I’m Voting for Romney/Ryan,” An Exclusive Interview with the First Dog

BoRomneyRyan

“Look, I know, I know…I’m a dog, and I’m supposed to be ‘loyal’ and all that…I get that all the time, but if you’d heard what I heard, and saw what I saw, you could break from some genetically-predispositioned loyalty to your owner too!” – Bo on the 2012 Election October 9, 2012 – Washington, District of Collusion Bo, the ...

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Klobuchar Eager to Return to Washington to Advance Teen Sci-Fi Romance Debate

Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar

“My main motivation this election cycle is winning the hearts of Minnesota voters so that I may return to the Senate chambers and push the key debate that is dividing this nation: Werewolf versus Vampire,” – Amy Klobuchar on 2012 Senate Race. September 19, 2012 – Minneapoleft, Minnesota Incumbent U.S. Senator and teen sci-fi romance aficionado, Amy Klobuchar (dyed-in-the-wool D-MN), ...

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MSNBC Now THAT’s Funny

I have finally found a use for MSNBC, entertainment value. On Tuesday Andrea Mitchell tried to defend Barrack Obama’s false ad about Mitt Romney outsourcing jobs. She was talking with Governor John Sununu. Not only did he destroy her argument, he did it while laughing out loud at her. The Romney campaign should use this video as an ad all ...

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All Massachusetts People Look Alike to Me

John Kerry recalls why he loathes unscripted campaign events.

When I first read that Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry (D–Noblesse Oblige) had been recruited to play the opponent during practice presidential debates, I considered it an inspired choice. There is a slight problem with respective ages for the two candidates, but otherwise everything else is perfect. One pretentious, cliché–ridden windbag impersonating another is excellent practice for when the curtain goes ...

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Unelected, Unaccountable Boards Like Spending Your Money

Dinner wine selections are somewhat limited under the new austerity rules at the Washington Metropolitan Airports Authority.

It’s been a rough few weeks for the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority that manages airports in the Washington, DC area and coordinates board member travel to luxury destinations. MWAA is the unelected and unaccountable board former Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine (Obama’s choice to head the Democrat National Committee and current candidate for the US Senate) unilaterally selected to oversee construction ...

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Occupy Movement Shouts “May Day!”

windowbreak

Field reporting by Blaine Dabbley, embedded guerrilla journalist in the Occupy movement’s twelfth brigade and sophomore student in Film Studies at Emerson College, writing for the Sentinel Dispatch. It was a rude awakening Tuesday morning when my roommate Seth put his size eleven boot squarely in my jaw. I lay prone and drooling on my unicorn sleeping blanket, unsuspecting of ...

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Is this house big enough to hold my ego?

The Palace of Versailles remains a magnet for the pretentious.

Even a property–rights conservative must admit it’s always an ominous sign when a prospective neighbor decides to give his soon–to–be–constructed house a name. There’s nothing that screams “Arriviste!” like a billboard in the front yard trumpeting the fact that your new home is so large it merits a title and will be petitioning for a Zip Code. So it came ...

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Next stop: The white elephant’s graveyard

Construction nears completion on Phase I of the Dulles rail project

Virginia just avoided a state–sized version of the popular “government shutdown” crisis. Democrats had twice defeated the budget in Senate votes and it looked like the usual hostages — children, teachers, social workers, grief counselors, underwater mortgage holders, illegals, addicts, the lame, the halt and the blind — were going to be bussed in to Richmond and threatened with self–sufficiency ...

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