Author Archives: Snarky Basterd

Breitbart IS John Galt

Guest post by suzibasterd

Andrew Breitbart is a force of nature, and I use the current tense intentionally; he will never leave us. Many words have been said about his passing. Many tears have been shed. Shock over his death was not an uncommon emotion and while the conservative community rallied and mourned, the progressives showed their true, gangrenous heart through the vitriol that they spewed in all communication mediums.

But enough about what happened. Let us focus, instead, upon what is…and that “is” is a BIG one, just as BIG as Breitbart and all his BIG websites.

Andrew Breitbart IS John Galt.

If you don’t know who John Galt is, I’m not sure if I should tell you to stop reading now and get thee to a library or a bookstore and read “Atlas Shrugged” or tell you to keep reading and THEN go get a copy. But I digress.

John Galt, beloved character of “Atlas Shrugged,” brought the men of the mind back to their senses. He taught them that they didn’t need to apologize for their success or their independence. “You are attacked, not for any errors or flaws, but for your virtues. You are denounced, not for any weaknesses, but for your strength.”

Breitbart was repeatedly attacked by the insidious left and he, unlike many of us before he came along, reveled in it. Andrew showed us that all we need to do is shine the light…and the truth…on the lies of the left and they will writhe and shrink like slugs with salt poured on them.

Galt and Breitbart both shrugged the feebleness of the left off their shoulders as if they were no more than a feather. When John Galt is asked by a looter what he thinks of the looter, Galt’s response is, “But I don’t think of you.” When told he should apologize for something, Breitbart’s response was, “Apologize for WHAT?”

Galt led the way to a better life by ignoring the left and Breitbart led the way by attacking them, but both showed that the left…the progressive, unscrupulous left of yesterday and today…are the antithesis of goodness and right.

And while John Galt took away producers from the world, Breitbart urged today’s producers to “run towards the fire!” He recognized the looter mentality of the progressive movement, most especially the progressive news media and their selective reporting, if not their outright lies, and he went toe-to-toe with all of them, begging them to prove him wrong. They never could.

It was his conviction in his rightness that makes Breitbart our Galt.

It was his fearlessness.

It was, most of all, his virtue.

Batboy Named Algae Czar

DISTRICT OF CRIMINALS — Fresh off blowing hot air at the press about the dire need to move U.S. energy dependence from oil to algae, President Barack “Downgrade” Obama today took daring steps, naming Batboy as the nation’s first Algae Czar.

In his first official decree, Batboy, who has lived openly in public for 27 years as Congresscriminal Henry Waxman from California, announced the president will issue an executive order later today to create the Dental Algae Reclamation Project, to be funded by confiscated tax returns of the 1%.

“Never before in our history has it been more important to explore alternative energy, what with vast deposits of natural gas that must remain in the earth in order to hasten the prophecy of Atlas Shruggedand the successful blocking of the Keystone XL pipeline to appease environmentalist voters in time for the 2012 election,” said WaxmanBatboy, who will continue to serve in Congress, since he doesn’t do anything there in the first place except try to take over the Internet so he can increase his bandwidth for viewing YouPorn videos of himself with The Wicked Witch of Congress.

The Dental Algae Reclamation Project will mandate that a lottery choose annual dental visits for all Americans, for the scraping of algae from their teeth. WaxmanBatboy said he and the 99% of Occupy Wall Street will be the first in line because they’ve “been storing enough algae in our mouths to fuel the nation for centuries,” WaxmanBatboy said.
In other news, the Downgrade administration will also empanel a commission to study the efficacy of renewing the horse and buggy as the dominant mode of American transportation, how well fat liposuctioned from Michael Moore could provide fuel for gas lamps in 100 million American homes, and whether Obama darling and failed solar energy company Soyndra can use a new $535 million loan guarantee to convert the dead into food to offset the rising cost of grocery bills.
Solyndra Green is people!


That’s what Barack Obama will cost you by the time Mittens, Santorum, Gingrich someone kicks him out of office this fall — provided 1.8 million dead voters don’t help re-elect him Dictator and King Forever.



For another way to look at it, here’s a table that shows the Trojan in Chief’s deficit spending as a percentage of the GDP. Give him this: The table shows that Zero the Zero Accomplish-er will finally accomplish one thing; at the end of his 4 years he’ll double — in a quarter of the time — the previous deficit records of Reagan and Bush, who served a combined 16 years in the White House.

Meanwhile, the Liar in Chief today renewed his Twitter march to pressure Congress to extend the $40 payroll tax cut, which means, if it passes despite significant opposition the first time he offered us this rotten olive branch, we’ll all get to fill our gas tank halfway a little more often … that is until the price of gas marches toward $5 a gallon later this year — principally because The One let refineries close and blocked construction of the Keystone pipeline in favor of powering America with unicorn farts, or something.

I’d rather put the $40 in a pot with everyone else’s “tax cut” and buy Barack “I dream of a day when little black lies and little white lies will walk hand in hand together and make me king” Obama a one-way ticket back to that little Asian country called Hawaii or Kenya or Indonesia or wherever the hell it really is that Barry Soetoro comes from.

Because, in the end, all the Loser in Chief is trying to do is what he said he’d do the night he was elected: “fundamentally change America.

And you need to look no further than his new African-Americans for Obama ad, or frankly look at anything he’s ever said, to know that the Marxist in Chief inherently believes in redistribution of wealth (so that’s why my socks keep disappearing in the dryer!), “from each according to his ability to each according to his needs”

Review: Alfonzo Rachel and His "Weapon of A.S.S. Destruction"

“Being a black and white kind of person is a good thing”.  This is how conservative pundit and musician Alfonzo Rachel begins his new audio book, Weapon of A.S.S. Destruction.  Rachel goes on to assert that the nuanced grey area most liberals pride themselves on living in is no more than a fog that blurs sound judgement and clear vision.  There’s no blurring of the lines happening in this audio book.  Rachel spends fifteen chapters carefully laying out his argument for conservatism and why it is a principle that he believes fits squarely with both his faith and his race.

As a Black conservative, Rachel has seen and heard his fair share of insults.  While the left obsesses over the supposed racism in conservative “code words” such as ‘basketball’ and ‘food stamps’, they are not shy about openly calling Black pundits on the right brainwashed, sell-outs, porch-monkeys, house Negros (or worse, if the person doing the insulting happens to be Black and therefore officially “allowed” to use the n-word) and Uncle Toms.  Alfonzo Rachel wholly rejects all those labels but one: Uncle Tom.  He reminds readers that Uncle Tom was a slave who rebelled against his masters, refused to beat his own people, and sacrificed his own safety for the freedom of other slaves.  In the book, Uncle Tom is a hero who was despised by his slave brethren who had been appointed “overseers” for the master.  Somehow, over the years the left has completely twisted this heroic character into an insult that means the exact opposite of who and what Uncle Tom truly represented.

Rachel spends the bulk of his time in this book untwisting the liberal narrative on the Republican party and conservatism in general.  With humor, biting wit and extremely well-researched sources, he carefully lays out the history of the GOP in the United States, as well as the disturbing and dirty past of the Democrat party.  Haven’t you ever wondered just how the party that freed the slaves and passed civil rights legislation somehow became saddled with the Jim Crow label of the actual party of Jim Crow – the Democrats? Rachel lays that history out bare and dares the listener dispute the facts.

This, however, is not just a book about politics; it is also about faith -the role it has played in Rachel’s life and in the evolution of America.  Strands of the faith of the Founding Fathers and Judeo-Christian values are seamlessly woven into a discussion about topics that affect every American life – abortion, family structure, capitalism, etc.  I asked Rachel if he worried that his boldness about his faith as a Christian would turn people off.  “I can’t worry about that,” he responded. “If I were to separate my faith from my politics then I really would be the sellout people accuse me of being. I will not sell out my God and I will not sell out my country.”

Far from selling out, Alfonzo Rachel has created a firm and often humorous defense of conservatism, America and faith.  He even includes some original music for our listening pleasure.  “Right Wingin’ Woman” is sure to become an instant classic – “I’m diggin’ you in your conservative skirt; Makes me so excited that it almost hurts; You’re the kind of woman that I want for my wife; You’re a real woman cuz you’re pro-life”.  The song alone is worth the price of admission, trust me.  Don’t be deceived by the title, the book isn’t crass.  The A.S.S. in the title is actually symbolic and an acronym: it represents the symbol of the Democrat party and also stands for American Socialist States, which is where he believes the Democrats are trying to take us.

Weapon of A.S.S. Destruction is currently only available in audio form, although the author does plan a printed release in the near future.  This is really a story better told aloud anyway.  Rachel’s voice, expression and musical contributions bring the content to life in a way that will have you laughing out loud and wanting to pull your hair out in frustration at the same time.  Its a fun, easy listen; great for the commute to work.  Just be sure to suppress that urge to applaud when Rachel says out loud what most conservatives only wish they could say so succinctly.  Hands on the wheel!  Ten and two folks…ten and two.  Weapon of A.S.S. Destruction will be available for download January 27th.