Editor’s note: this post is satire and not intended to relay actual events.
According to the Hill, Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman Bob Menendez (D-N.J.) slammed the Biden Administration over oil talks between Biden administration officials and the government of Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro. While The Palestinian Wasp reports the US delegation is led by Hunter Biden and Mayor Pete. According to sources close to Mr. Biden, “Hunter is the perfect person due to his extensive experience in the energy sector, including advising Burisma Holdings Limited and he even wrote a book to prove it.” In the Book Beautiful Thing, Mr. Biden insists his relationship was not unethical, but he would not do it again.
Accompanying Mr, Hunter is transportation secretary, Mayor Pete. A spokesperson for Mayor Pete said he was looking forward to meeting with the Venezuelan delegation because the country has the expertise required to manage empty shelves, directly applicable to the situation in America.
Reportedly, right after the Venezuela trip, Mr. Biden is scheduled to travel to Myanmar, as it is fast becoming the world’s biggest producer of methamphetamine and synthetic drugs. Biden’s Spokesperson said the Delegation was fortunate to have his hands-on expertise in the supply chain. Mr. Biden’s goal is to strike a deal for a record buy. “Our goal is to meet the Average American Needs,” he said. “The more readily available the drugs to average Americans, the happier they will be and inflation and war will no longer be top of mind for them,” he added.
According to the Palestinian Wasp, the last country in the itinerary is Zimbabwe. Mayor Pete who recently returned from maternity leave, came across the Curious Kids website where the question was asked: “What country has the most printed money?” The corresponding answer was “At the moment, there is one country that can get richer by printing more money, and that’s the United States (a country that is already very wealthy). This is because most of the valuable things that countries around the world buy and sell to one another, including gold and oil, are priced in US dollars.” So why Zimbabwe you may ask? Zimbabwe banknotes ranging from 10 dollars to 100 billion dollars were printed within a one-year period. Mayor Pete thinks he has stumbled upon a solution to the high cost of energy: Buy electric cars with the newly printed money! By the way, the magnitude of the Zimbabwe currency scalars signifies the extent of the hyperinflation.