All Trick, No Treat: Man Arrested After Urinating on $600 Worth of Halloween Candy

The criminal mind is a strange thing and those with inclinations to run on the wrong side of the law have even stranger motivations for the acts that they commit.

That is certainly the case with a creepy looking dude who managed to make his way into the storage room at a Kohls store in Toledo, Ohio where he sought out a large cache of Halloween candy and then proceeded to empty his bladder onto it.

48-year-old Christopher Burks was arrested after store security cameras caught him in the act of bleeding the lizard on over $600 in candy which had to be tossed for obvious reasons.

In yet another jewel of a weird news story courtesy of the Smoking Gun:

After entering an employee only area of a Kohl’s department store, an Ohio man proceeded to urinate on $603.72 worth of Halloween candy, according to police.

Christopher Burks, 48, was arrested Monday by Toledo cops on a misdemeanor criminal damage charge, court records show. After only a few hours in custody, Burks–who has pleaded not guilty–was released on a $500 personal recognizance bond in advance of an October 3 preliminary hearing.

Cops charge that Burks, a Toledo resident, entered a Kohl’s storage room and relieved himself on a “large amount of Halloween candy.” Store security cameras recorded Burks entering the storage room and he “was the only person near the candy when the urination occurred,” a court filing notes.

“$603.72 worth of candy was destroyed by the urine and will need to be thrown out,” Officer Matthew Brown reported.

Court records do not indicate why Burks (seen above) allegedly relieved himself on merchandise in the store (which has public restrooms).

Burks’s rap sheet includes prior arrests for burglary; assault; forgery; heroin trafficking; domestic violence; menacing; and disorderly conduct.

TSG has the police report on the incident HERE.

Did someone do a horrible thing to this man when he was a child – perhaps during trick or treating – that soured him on Halloween? Did he have an ax to grind with Kohls? Was he drinking or on drugs? Was he making a statement about stores putting their candy out too early?

As of today, it’s a mystery. Perhaps one that will never be solved because only the Shadow knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men like this weirdo.

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Donn Marten

Donn Marten is a fearless truth teller who calls it like he sees it despite the prevailing establishment narrative. The opinions expressed belong solely to this author and not do not necessarily reflect those of CDN itself.

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