Tag Archives: morons

The REAL Fools on the Hill Are At It Again!

Once again, we had another fiscal emergency. Well, THEY had a self-made emergency. Yes, our Federal government, our legislators, the ones who created this “Fiscal Cliff” mess in the first place and had over 2 years to work toward a resolution decided to wait until the last minute and act like they were riding in on a white horse (paid for by the American taxpayer) to solve the problem they created. And what did they do? They made the problem worse. They fixed NOTHING!

They simply pushed the debt down the road. This country is deficit spending at a rate that we can NEVER repay no matter how much money we steal from the rich.

Let’s put in terms we can all understand. Say you make $50,000 a year, and let’s say your expenses are almost $68,000 a year. You can cut back on expenditures or you can do what the government does when they aren’t making enough money… take a second, third, and forth mortgage out on your house. Then, use the borrowed money to pay your deficit while you continue to spend more than you’re making.

In ten years you are still in the hole. $180,000 in the hole. Even if you get a 2% raise each year, you will still be in the hole. This ratio is roughly equivalent to how our government is currently operating.

Our Federal government takes in almost $2.4 trillion a year in tax revenues. They spend over $3.6 trillion a year. We are spending a TRILLION more than we take in! President Obama and our Representatives have committed us to spending an additional $4 trillion over the next 10 years, leaving one big mess of a legacy for someone else to figure out because many of them won’t be around.

The Fiscal Cliff compromise didn’t really deal with any cuts or spending reforms. Remember, Mr. Obama said “no more bailouts for banks and big corporations”?? Well, NASCAR, the green industry, farming, and many others got BIG TAX breaks. And Obama’s beloved middle class got the BIG SHAFT!

The average American will lose $30.00 each week from their paychecks. That’s a ½ tank of gas, 1.5 bags of groceries, the water bill, or the phone bill.

The average American will lose $120 to $150 each month.  That’s ½ a car payment, a full insurance payment, or an electric bill in a small apartment. DOES ANYONE ON THAT HILL REALLY GIVE A ^%@$ about the American worker? NO!

As a small business owner, I spend a lot of time working through the company budget, what we are spending, what we need to spend and so on. As a husband, father, and homeowner I also have to take time to look at our current income, our expected future income, the safeguards on our investments, and “Plan B” in case everything blows up. It takes time and input from experts.

The Fools on the Hill took 3 minutes to evaluate this compromise before they voted on it! I wish I were joking. Let that sink in. Most of our U.S. Senators received a copy of this 154 page bill 3 minutes before they voted on it, maybe 10 minutes total.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t read 154 pages, take it in, and understand the details in less than 10 minutes. But these guys to this ALL THE TIME!

They have all got to go!

Democrats need to wake. Fifteen of the best 21 run states are controlled by Republicans. Eleven states that currently have more people on public assistance than those not on public assistance are run by Democrats. Detroit, the poster child for the way the Democrats want to do business, is in the toilet and has been for a long time. The schools are a mess, government is a mess, the city is a mess, the streets are a mess. Shall I go on?

Both sides need to look at the hard numbers and see what works and what doesn’t and just do what works! PERIOD!

How does an elected official looking at their failing city, look at successfully running city and decide they can’t do what the other city is doing because its run by the “other side” . That’s un-American, un-patriotic, and just plain stupid.

Hey America! Grow up and get a clue. Let’s replace these “Fools on the Hill” before they destroy us all.

Joe Messina

The New Right Declares “War on Morons”

By Dr. Christopher Flappitydo, Director of the Institute for Diversity & Tolerance & Multiculturalism & Compassion & Inclusiveness, as originally published in the New England Agitator.

America is facing an epidemic. The GOP’s shock troops on the New Right have launched into a bigoted “war on morons” — a right-wing crusade that threatens the very existence of the Democrat Party. If something isn’t done to halt the proliferation of alternative information sources in this country, the progress of statism, economic insolvency, and the idiocy that drives them both could be reversed once and for all.

For decades now, the Democrat Party has rested easy knowing that government-run schools were turning our nation’s children into morons. The young and undereducated have become our most reliable voting bloc. The leftwing corporate media have been all-too-willing to reinforce their selective stupidity through half-assed reportage. This successful program has always portrayed Democrats in the best possible light, while demonizing conservatives and Republicans as heartless villains out to impose some vague form of neo-fascism on the poor, helpless masses.

Well, that’s what the right-wing bastards want. That’s not the point.

This cozy arrangement’s worked beautifully for us over generations, where those who want to expand government are eulogized, while those who want to reign it in are blasted as racists, sexists, homophobes — whatever nasty names spring to mind.

We compassionate liberals wouldn’t want anything as silly as facts and rational discourse to get in the way of government bailouts, handouts, and tax credits for too-big-to-fail businesses or welfare paradise for the underclass. But apparently this new-fangled “Internet” threatens to level the playing field by letting conservatives challenge us in the public forum. And to be honest, we can’t tolerate that.

Recently, whenever the echo chamber media repeat our intentionally stupid talking points, these New Right bastards are there to expose us and make us look ridiculous! Conservatives are flash-mobbing websites with their annoying talking points and an insistence on “truth” and “fairness.” Well, frick, we allow them am radio and a cable television station for dissent! What more could these sing-heiling Nazis possibly want?

Once upon a time in this country, we statists could have a nice little “War on Poverty,” a “War on Drugs,” or a never-endingWar on Terror,” and there wasn’t much hullabaloo about it (unless one of those nasty Republicans happened to be in office). But one recent fiasco displays that we are growing more impotent by the day. After we sent up one of our thirty-year old political operatives to stick taxpayers with the bill for universal sexual accessories, there seemed to be a media firestorm playing right into our hands. Media Matters was ready for months in advance with a “War on Women” campaign tailor-made to permanently silence right-wing radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh. But far from accomplishing our mission to “hush Rush,” we spiked his ratings.

We doubled down on failure when we claimed the GOP initiated the”War on Women,” which centered on its evil plans to deprive teen girls of an endless supply of condoms, douches, and abortifacients. On top of that, one of our DNC mouthpieces dropped the ball and called out MS-stricken cancer survivor Ann Romney as a stay-at-home mommy who “never worked a day in her life“! The right-wing went nuts with an outrageous “War on Moms” meme that outraged our moronic constituency with the notion that maybe there was some hypocrisy in the Democrat Party. Perish the thought that some of them might wake up and realize we leftist intellectuals are using them!

Even worse, after the Obama re-election team (including national mommy Michelle) threw Hilary Rosen under the bus and backed up a few times, state-approved sycophant Bill Maher was still laying into Ann Romney, jeopardizing our dear leader’s edge among women. Talk about morons! Here we have a New Right determined to expose our paid pipers, and Maher keeps making over-the-top attacks on women that prove the right’s point that the “War on Women” was merely a charade all along.

In order to combat the nefarious scourge of contradictory information, the Obama campaign rightly took a page out of the East German playbook and set up websites where neighbors, family, and friends could snitch on one another for unfriendly political agitation. First, there was FLAG, where we encouraged morons to rat each other out for saying anything untoward about our president’s wonderful Obamacare plan. But little did we know that smart-asses on the New Right would send a flurry of responses like, “Saw a grandma complain about $500 billion being slashed from Medicare at the Rite Aid on 25th and Main St.” And so forth. We had to shut it down.

The most infamous of the snitch sites, however, was Attack Watch. Set up with the noble intention of allowing citizens to notify authorities whenever anyone would dare denigrate dear leader, it was promptly ridiculed by the hooligans at Misfit Politics and mocked mercilessly on the Twitter hash #attackwatch. One author even had the temerity to parody it with a ridiculous blog article “Snack Watch.” He has been duly reported to DHS’ absurdity division.

But whence we once thought Attack Watch was an anomaly, it appears the snow (or more appropriately, the Scheiss) is starting to roll downhill. The Truth Team was supposed to pick up the torch for the fallen Attack Watch, but was subsequently blasted by the New Media.

We even devised an innocuous Twitter meme #whatsromneyhiding, but this hash was soon taken over by the right with sarcastic posts of birth certificates, selective services records, and college transcripts. Just the other night, the rightblogger fools had the nerve to make an #ObamaBookTitles hash, where they posted nasty, racist titles like “Fear and Loathing n’ Lost Wages” and “Lord of the Lies.” The only thing our moronic banner wavers could do was make up even more racist titles and futilely decry conservatives for blaming everything on Obama.

This is where our agenda to dumb down Americans through government-financed and union-run schools in order to keep people forever voting Democrat sets us up to fail. Ignorance, idiocy, and faux-educated lunacy don’t play too well in New Media for very long. Indeed, a recent study shows that conservatives understand liberal positions much better than vice versa, leading to endless hilarity for the other side and a possible refutation of the meme that right-wingers are closed-minded authoritarian types. Needless to say, some of our most fidelious morons have been exposed to the uncomfortable recognition of their cognitive dissonance and PTSD counselors have been rushed in to maintain the integrity of their worldviews.

While once the New Right appeared bashful to speak up, due to our ubiquitous environ of political correctness, they currently seem more than willing to push back on Facebook and Twitter, and there are signs that the left’s hegemony over the culture is crumbling. Old Media are dying. People are turning more to the Internet for news and information, meaning citizens may be exposed to undesirable sources like Breitbart.com, Drudge Report, and Conservative Daily News. They can fact check our propaganda (and not always at state-approved sources like FactCheck.org and Politifact!).

If this insane drive on the right to brainwash people keeps up, we will be in danger of losing the vital moron constituency that keeps us in business. This distasteful situation could prove disastrous for our ability to game the political system for the benefit of our cronies. We have been running an Old Media propaganda model in a New Media world, and it might be necessary to impose some… standards of decency and “fair speech” to prevent some of our most vulnerable morons from leaving the big government Democrat fold.

After all, an informed moron is a dangerous moron.

Author’s note: The above is satire. It is a fictionalized account intended to elucidate certain ideas and principles by taking them to absurd lengths. It is not intended to be taken literally.

Kyle Becker blogs at RogueGovernment, and can be followed on Twitter as @RogueOperator1. He writes freelance for several publications, including American Thinker and OwntheNarrative, and is a regular commentator on the late night talk show TB-TV.

Ninety-Nine Percent in America? REALLY??!!

…..speaking of morons…

I am conflicted every time I see coverage of these Occupy schlubs. On one hand, like anyone who has actually earned a paycheck, I would like to see most of the them told that they are too old for the sandbox – time to go get a job. On the other hand, I jump for joy over the fact that these morons have no clue that they have royally over-stayed their welcome; and that even their most staunch supports’ patience is wearing thin.

But as a person with the heart of a teacher, I really want them to grip how silly their premise is…. Actually, I just don’t want anyone else drinking that kool-aid.

“How can the 1% REALLY lord it over the other 99% in a democratic republic?”

SHORT VERSION: They can’t. Thanks for playing, have a safe trip back home (to your parent’s basement)

LONG VERSION: Listening to your Bolshevik teachers (who, by the way, said in their youth, “never trust anyone over 30″…. and now they are your professors) you would think that the evil capitalists have been holding down the hoi-polloi since those white dudes in wigs forced out the peace loving British who only want to spread the wealth around (back to England of course). And it got worse from there! As the centuries past, the unwashed masses grunted along to the tune of “Look Down” from Les Miserables, being forced by those mean Republicans to accept slavery, Jim Crow Laws, Poll taxes, grandfather clauses…. oh wait…. that’s right, it WASN’T the Republican that did that. Wanna take a guess at which party that was?

Generation after generation, the 99% stood there and took it, until finally (cue the Halleluiah Chorus) kids barely out of diapers came running down to Zuccotti Park, dragging their massive craniums behind them to solve the unsolvable, cure the incurable, to DREAM… the IM-POSS-I-BLE….. you get the picture.

They, inspired by their “fundamentally transform American President” (erk… had to fight off some GERD there), have solved society’s problems by occupying a private park, taking dumps on cop cars, practically driving the MIDDLE CLASS vendors in the area out of business (fat cats order in during an occupation, check the manual) and of course, changed western civilization as we know it by coming up with call and response phrases like, “this is what democracy looks like!” – which with the cerebral skill of a parrot, the rest of the crowd repeats… over and over and over and over…

Ya know what? That IS what democracy looks like! Tell ya what, I’ll get back to that in a minute.

SO…. if this has always been the condition of America, then why hasn’t it been fixed?! HMMMM?!!! If it really has been 99% versus 1%…… in a representative republic – then why are we just NOW getting to the problem? Why wasn’t it fixed 100 years ago when Mr. Smith really could go to Washington? How about 435 Mr. Smith’s in the house…. or I suppose if the OWS stats are correct, it would be 430-5? Well?? And the Senate? Hey, back then I bet you could have pulled 100% given that Senators were elected by state legislatures, who I am just sure were made up of purely 99%ers.. Right??

During the Great Depression? FD who? Who needs a President when you’ve got 430-5 and 99-1, right?!! I am sure you could’ve had some wealth spreadage back then? WELL????

Want to know why??.. Uh oh, here it comes….

BECAUSE IT ISN’T 99% VS 1% IN THIS COUNTRY!!! Nine out of every 10 of the 1% in America (statistically is families and businesses making $350,000 or more per year) are FIRST GENERATION RICH! Meaning that they started somewhere other than Richville. AND most of the so-called rich (tell someone living in downtown Manhattan and ONLY making 350k per year they are rich) from 30 years ago have cycled OUT of Richville and have been replaced by new 1%ers. In other words, there is no LOCK on wealth in this country other that the fact that it takes a huge amount of blood, sweat, tears and TIME!! The ‘microwave generation’ (I want it now, now, now!!) doesn’t grip that.

Oh, and getting back to what democracy looks like? Yep, that what it looks like alright – a mob that shares space, food, braincells, joints and other things I can’t mention. It is exactly the reason why our framers did NOT give us a democracy, but a republic. If the “take up oxygen” crown would have gripped that back in civics class, they probably wouldn’t be fertilizing Zuccotti Park the way they have been doing. Then again, if they would have paid attention in econ class, they would be working on getting to the other side of the glass on Wall Street.