Obama Announces Strategy for Everything

The American and international press has been pointing-out Obama’s lack of decision-making and his dearth of accomplishments.  Obama has now made it evident why it has taken almost a year for him to make key decision or get much of anything done.  He sees all the ills that pleague our country as inter-connected.  Due to that insight, the President needed time to formulate a singular “Obama Strategy for Everything”.

President ObamaIs it more than just another speech?  Considering his record, that’s tough to predict, but it is obvious that serious amounts of thought went into a single strategy intended to create jobs, win in Afghanistan, give everyone health care without raising taxes or the deficit, prevent super-inflation, fix medicare, make social security solvent, shut-down Fox news,  and fix education.  There were a few things that didn’t make it into the strategy, but if he does all these things, I’m sure another international award will be his anyway.  Then again, just for saying he’ll do these things another commendation is assured.

When the announcement came many pundits thought he could do almost all of that simply by resigning.  The AP, CNN, MSNBC, and the Huffington Post all immediately called the President’s personal number to ask him to reconsider and Chris Mathews was nearly institutionalized for fear he would take his own life.  Of course, if they had thought about it, resigning wouldn’t accomplish any of that.  We’d get Biden..  and if Biden left, Nancy Pelosi?  The only thing she’s accomplished is proving that a botox overdose is not fatal.

No, he’s not resigning.  Obama’s comprehensive plan brings together national defense, monetary policy, government entitlements, moderation of the media, and the war on terror in an innovative way.

The linchpin in the strategy is the opening of the Talibani embassy in Afghanistan.  By creating an open dialogue with the true outcast in Afghanistan, he will bring this war to an end, divide the country in-half (ala Korea) and leave a small force in-place to keep-the peace.   Small, like the approximately 35,000 in Korea.  By giving the Taliban a state of their own, we no longer need to send additional troops to Afghanistan, we just have to keep a ton of them there… forever.  The troops that were scheduled to head to Afghanistan have been rumored to be on their way to combat the new enemy of America.. Fox news.

While this solves the troop decision dilemma, what about the economy?  Obama’s drug policy is becoming well-known.  The legalization of Marijuana from a federal perspective is well underway.  The Taliban are likely to sign the President’s new Mid-east free ‘opium’ trade agreement.  The Taliban and Al-Queda have long used opium to supplant their incomes.  Why not America?  To enhance the impact to the U.S. economy, Obama is pushing for all opium trades to be conducted in the U.S. currency to hopefully strengthen the dollar.

This move is expected to create thousands of new small businesses that will need to immediately hire employees.  Shipping, warehousing, marketing, sales, accounting, distribution… you name it.  ACORN is expected to act as a shepherd for those economically-challenged folks that want to start their own opium distribution center.  Joblessness is expected to drop-off drastically.

Obama Reid and Pelosi
The real stroke of (evil) genius was the tying together of social security, health care and education.  Anyone that decides to take social security before the age of 75 must earn it by working in government… oops… public schools.  As the President put it, “I want to give all Americans the opporunity to work for yourselves, an entrepreneurial opportunity in the golden years of life”.  Heck, you paid into social security all those years, now the money is coming back to you… as long as you put in 40 hours a week at Barack H. Obama elementary school.  Schools need janitors, cafeteria workers, teacher’s assistants, perhaps even door-greeters like at wal-mart.  The good news is that schools also already have free health care.  The school nurse.  Pure genius.

So out of his campaign-trail list of to-do’s, he only has global warming and finding Bin Ladin left to handle.  I am optimistic that he will be able to bring those together with the trade deficit, immigration reform and over-pricing at Disney in his next comprehensive government reform – “Obama’s Strategy for Everything.. else”.

Daily Presidential Approval Rating
Daily Presidential Approval Rating
This article is based on speculation and author creativity, but has some basis in actions taken by the Obama administration (i.e. looking the other way on marijuana, befriending the Taliban, indecisiveness, lack of accomplishments).  The President may or may not be considering a singular strategy to improve life in the United States.  In fact, I would bet the only strategy he is working on is the re-elect Barack in 2012 campaign strategy.

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Rich Mitchell

Rich Mitchell is the editor-in-chief of Conservative Daily News and the president of Bald Eagle Media, LLC. His posts may contain opinions that are his own and are not necessarily shared by Bald Eagle Media, CDN, staff or .. much of anyone else. Find him on twitter, facebook and

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