Why It Must Be Awesome to Be Barack Obama


Conservatives are no fans of Barack Obama, but let’s admit it: it must be awesome to be this guy. Before checking to make sure this is Conservative Daily News you’re reading, consider the following top 20 list of  reasons:

  1. Although you are the most visible public figure in the world, instruct the mainstream media to keep all the skeletons in your closet a complete mystery.
  2. Make millions of dollars on likely ghost-written books, and then wag your finger at millionaires and other one-percenters.
  3. Despite being one of the most radical figures in American history, convince millions that you’re a moderate and those in your opposition are actually extremists.
  4. Smoke cigarettes, toke weed and do coke in your past and get a complete pass from the media.
  5. Have people actually give a damn about your NCAA tournament bracket.
  6. Do nothing but golf over a hundred times, skip your jobs board meetings for months, and then argue with a straight face that you “will not rest” until you get unemployment under control.
  7. Take all the credit for anything even remotely good, like killing Osama bin Laden, while passing off all the damage from your destructive policies on Bush or Boehner.
  8. Carry out almost the exact same war policies as your much-vilified predecessor George W. Bush, and not hear so much as a peep out of the rabid anti-war left.
  9. Although you haven’t run so much as a lemonade stand in your life, live large as a billionaire.
  10. Throw a baseball like a girl as you wear mom jeans, ride a bike looking like Urkel, and get called “eye candy” on The View.
  11. Spend trillions of dollars you did absolutely nothing to earn or make on virtually whatever you want.
  12. Publicly scarf down ribs, ice cream, burgers, beer and pizza and lecture the country about nutrition.
  13. Engage in race-baiting character assassination against a white policeman by saying he “acted stupidly” by arresting a friend, then have a beer with him and laugh about it.
  14. Arm Mexican drug cartels with assault weapons, leading to the deaths of dozens of Mexican citizens and American border patrol agent Brian Terry. Upon hearing the news of any horrific public shooting, act like you care deeply about the victims and immediately call for tighter gun control laws.
  15. When a nine-hour raid on a diplomatic mission results in the deaths of four American servicemen, blame an anti-Islamic video for weeks and refuse to call it terrorism. Pretend that even though you’re the Commander-in-Chief, you were nothing but an innocent bystander, and that no military aid could have possibly gotten to the compound. Instead of addressing the national security meltdown, fundraise and drink champagne with Jay-Z and Beyonce.
  16. Fly around the world bowingto foreign dictators and pal around with socialists. Then bridle when people call that unpresidential.
  17. Call those Americans who participate in an orderly, grassroots series of protests the nasty epithet “teabaggers,” while telling those who took part in the destructive, criminal,  disease-infested Occupy Movement that they are the reason he ran for office.
  18. Admit you hung out with marxists in your biography, mimic the exact same tax the rich policies as socialists in Europe, and then vehemently reject the notion that you’re a socialist.
  19. Become the most powerful man in the world after doing nothing outside of being a politician, except for being a mediocre university lecturer and leftist community organizer.
  20. Anytime someone says anything bad about you — racist!!

On the other side of the ledger: married to Michelle Obama (just kidding).

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