Obama’s Brilliant Campaign

Alright all you evil conservatives. Give up! Give up, now! You have no hope of defeating Obama this November. He is the most brilliant campaign strategist out there.

It is easy to see how brilliant he is! He knows how important it is to get his message out the masses, and has instructed his staff to treat the tabloid television shows better than the White House Press Corps. After all, people that will vote for him probably look for news anywhere but… well… ummm… news broadcasts, newspapers, news magazines, or news websites.

And Obama, the brilliant, took time to answer a question from a law student on Reddit. It was a moving statement, and might make some people think he actually sympathizes with deep-in-debt law school graduates. But, he must have forgotten that law students can’t use Stafford Loans. But that’s alright! Obama still got the message out there, that he cares for the downtrodden!

Since George W. Bush isn’t in office anymore, Obama rightfully decided that it’s best to blame Romney for any damage done by Isaac. After all, it must be his fault. He’s the one that actually interacts with a deity, unlike Obama! Bonus: It leaves the opening to blame Mormonism, I suppose. But no one is talking about that out loud.

Then there is the military. Obama respects the military, and dutifully makes sure a staffer sends a form letter to the parents or widow of a fallen soldier. Well, so many of them die all the time, so who has the time for a personal touch? Too time-consuming, even if they were Navy SEALs. And everyone knows a rapper is more important than any service people that die for their country, right?

Of course, there are the issues – women’s issues. Obama is wise, and doesn’t insist that the women campaigning for him actually be intelligent enough to hold their own in debates against conservative women. Why should they lower themselves to actually defending their positions, right? I mean really, who do you think would win a debate on women’s issues? Sandra Fluke or Dana Loesch? Obama knows – his Sandra would win hands down – literally. I mean please, keep your hands down – cut down on the smell!

And we mustn’t forget the liberal media. Obama has given the order – be professional! Don’t pick fights with the opposition! Don’t get into confrontations with them! Yeah, I think maybe Chris Matthews missed that memo. Oh well! Everyone will forget about him by this time next week. After all, we’re overdue for another Biden gaffe, right?

Shaking in your shoes yet, conservatives? Uh huh. Didn’t think so!