HUD’s “Detroit 2020” Initiative: Nationwide Housing Projects Slated

The Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Shawn Donovan has proposed a nationwide system of housing projects. The program would supplement and eventually replace the failing real estate market, which tanked due to predatory lending and speculation. The new housing system would be based on the projects that shelter the inhabitants of inner cities, particularly the needy population of Detroit.  The nationwide projects would be slated for completion by the year 2020.

Being dubbed by its Democrat supporters as “Detroit 2020,” the HUD program would establish fair and equal living standards for all families. Americans would be encouraged to limit their family size due to pre-fab housing specifications, with tax credits for those who comply with the Child Fairness Act (CFA). The CFA is an accompanying provision in the legislation intended to limit environmental damage from excess offspring.

The housing projects would fulfill a huge demand for shelter following the 2008 real estate crash.  The ensuing recession left many without jobs and places to live or holding underwater mortgages.  Rent gouging has prompted a fiery reaction among the most vulnerable, leading to the “Rent is Too Damn High” party.

Detroit 2020 would remedy such problems, and then some. No longer would neighbors suffer from the “grass is greener” effect, being forced to look across the street at a lush and immaculate lawn leading to a beautiful two-story house with all the fancy accompaniments. In the future, Americans will barely notice housing, since it will all be made of cream yellow pre-fab construction; and thus, easily modified, replaced, or torn down.

House Democrats seem keen on funding the nationwide housing projects, which would provide much-needed shelter to key constituents. The initiative would solve a nagging problem that perpetually confronts the nation: homelessness.

“This initiative could easily have been called Baltimore 2020, or South Central LA 2020,” said Stemy Foyer of Maryland. “The Democrat Party is here to guarantee that all Americans have a right to housing, and this initiative would go a long way towards honoring that obligation to our citizens.”

Republicans are not so keen to support the measure, as it would lead to government control over housing and a dependency mentality.

“It is time that all Americans get off the federal plantation,” said Representative Alan West of Florida, one of the few black Republicans. “Promoting an environment where citizens can get meaningful jobs and take responsibility for themselves and their families is something we conservatives stand for.”

“Alan West is just a racist,” responded Deborah Weiserstein-Shultz, the DNC Chairwoman. “Who could oppose free housing for all but a race-baiting lapdog of the rich? As we speak, the Republicans are conducting a War on the Homeless, and it is high time that our system of exploiting the poor comes to an end. The Democrats therefore stand behind the Detroit 2020 initiative.”

Others were more temperate in their remarks. Dr. Jeffrey Joiner, an analyst with the non-partisan Brooks Institute, had high praise for the Democrats’ plan.

“What the Democrat Party actually proposes is to  take action about our nation’s problems, instead of resorting to petty, partisan obstructionism or a weak, hands-off, ‘let the market decide’ approach. The market is what got us into this mess to begin with. We don’t need to cut funding for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, we need to increase their operating budgets five-fold.  Half-measures of introducing democratic solutions to our country’s problems in a corporate-dominated environment will only lead to disastrous results, due to our system’s tendency to reward greed.”

The nationwide housing project is estimated to run at roughly $5 trillion over the next eight years.  The Democrats plan to fund the effort by taxing corporations at a higher rate and by making the progressive income tax rate even more progressive.

“If the bill passes, the days of Americans’ vulnerability to the real estate market and dependency on vulture capitalists for shelter could be over,” said House minority leader Nancy Palosi. “Housing would become a universal right, just like healthcare.”

Author’s note: The above is satire. It is a fictionalized account intended to elucidate certain ideas and principles by taking them to absurd lengths. It is not intended to be taken literally.

Kyle Becker blogs at RogueGovernment, and can be followed on Twitter as @RogueOperator1. He writes freelance for several publications, including American Thinker and BeatObamaPac, and is a regular commentator on the late night talk show TB-TV.