Herman in Wonderland

Herman Cain has seemed somewhat lost lately. He seems in my overactive imagination to be like Alice in Alice in wonderland, a blunt and astute child dealing with the ridiculous nature of adult society.
He entered the party with claims of “No room, no room!” But there were places set and Herman took his seat in a comfy armchair at the end of the table.
In the ensuing debate, the candidates went after his tax code. Herman in response was confused, and rightly so. Oranges were being talked about when he was advertizing his apples. But that is the game, and it is the riddle. “How is a raven like a writing desk?” Herman struggled to recall what he knew about ravens and writing desks, which wasn’t much.
Before he could answer he was asked the day of the month. Herman said it was the fourth. Two days short! Two days short! For you see, time had stopped. But Herman knew not that time could stop, but those around the table felt that it did and therein it was always teatime. Butter wouldn’t suit the works. For you see Time has been angry since the queen claimed a song could murder time.
“This is how these people manage.” Herman thought.

“Suppose we change the subject,” stated one.

Herman said, “I believe I can guess that riddle.” The one stated before of coarse. “Do you mean you can find out the answer to it?” replied one. “Exactly so.” Herman chirped. “Then you should say what you mean.” A tablemate responded.

“I do!” Herman said, “At least-at least I mean what I say, which is the same thing.”
“Not the same thing a bit!” cried those at the table. “Why you might as well say ‘I see what I eat’ is the same as ‘I eat what I see.’” Said one. “Why you might as well say ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same as ‘I sleep when I breathe.’” Said another. “It is the same thing with you.” Stated the seeming ringleader.
“What about the riddle?” Herman thought to himself. “I think you might do something better with the time than wasting it asking riddles with no answers.”

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