The News is Funny – in a Sad Kind of Way. Week of 9-13
- CNN performed a second set of polls allowing Americans to judge Obama’s performance. The first had given the President a C+ for his first 100 days and this week they released his second 100 days poll: a C-. Obama is expected to give himself a speech on working harder and getting better grades.
- SEIU and ACORN band together to protect worker’s rights. The newly-formed Street-walkers Union of America has asked Kanye West to act as spokesperson and Charles Rangel for Treasurer.
- Conservatives turned into racists and became “dangerous” as evidenced by the exactly zero people that were arrested for doing $0.00 in property damage in D.C. during the largest conservative protest in history.
- The first glimmer of bi-partisanship felt during the Obama administration was felt as an almost-unanimous agreement that the Senate proposal on health care (Finance Committee Chairman’s Mark) is not the way to go.
- CNN’s Wolf Blitzer got it wrong on Jeopardy, but then again, CNN tends to get it wrong and Americans think that the media gets it wrong more than 70% of the time.
- The FDIC is running out of money. ACORN is losing access to our money. The Baucus bill is about giving more of our money to prop-up Medicare.
- Jobless claims fell, but states report that more jobs got lost than before. Obama to work with AFL-CIO and SEIU on creating the Unemployed Workers Union. Union dues will be paid for by an excise tax on non-union working citizens wages.
- Patrick Swayze lost his battle, Obama is losing his health care battle and now he is unable to make a decisions on the Afghan battlefield.
- Bernanke said the recession is gone. The FDIC said it’s money is gone. Kanye proved that his decency was gone.
- Congress spent millions on stimulus signs, and voted for millions more. The Union of over-paid sign-makers claims recession is over thanks to the president’s stimulus.
- The guiding light went off the air, Pelosi just went off, and Time Magazine said we should turn Glenn Beck off.
- Joe Wilson got censured, ACORN got dumped from census taking, and Pelosi got frightened out of her senses. I’m not sure how you would tell that by facial expression alone.
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Tagged with: Humor/Satire news