Opinion

Liberals speak in Code but you can Translate it

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Rahm Emanuel wants to go back to Chicago even though the guy leasing his house at 4228 N. Hermitage Avenue refuses to vacate the premises. There’s that little matter of running for Henchman, er, Mayor of Chicago. It isn’t a Daley event when that position becomes available so Rahm’s gotta do what a lib’s gotta do. What’s a purveyor of dead fish supposed to do, rent out the basement of his own house? Nope, not allowed, says Mister Lease guy.

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I mean, I can see why Rahm wants back in his digs so bad. Right in his neighborhood are so many attractions for the homesick socialist. You know a place like Jury’s Restaurant. But that’s still out on him, so no go. Of course, Rahm could always shack up at the Diplomat Motel located at 5230 N. Lincoln Ave, but I doubt the management views him as suitable company for its esteemed foreign consular clients such as Eddie who spends his days dumpster diving.

הער פעלפּס, קוועלער אָנווייַזן די דזשעסי זשעקסאן, יינגער טוט ניט רעדן ייִדיש. דעריבער, צו באַשיצן אונדזער אָנזאָג מיר זענען איצט גערעדט אין ייִדיש. אייער מיסיע, מיסטער פעלפס, איז צו שטעלן צוזאַמען אַ ראַינבאָוו קאָאַליטיאָן אַז אַפֿילו דזשעססי זשעקסאן סעניאָר וואָלט זייַן שטאָלץ פון. מאי איר געפֿינען דיין פאַן פון גאָלד בייַ די עק פון די רעגנבויגן.

Of course, Rahm could hang out at the Long Room bar at 1612 W. Irving Park Road, but hey, this is Chicago, so why the long face, John Kerry? Butt Rahm (or would that be Rahm Butt?) might find the Bad Dog Tavern at 4535 N Lincoln Avenue more to his liking – besides, it is just a hop, skip and a jump away from The Grafton Pub & Grill at 4530 Lincoln Avenue. Not that I’m insinuating that Rahm knows anything about Graft or stuff like that. Then there’s the Tiny Lounge at 4352 N. Leavitt Street, but I don’t think Rahm would fit in there either – though Barney Frank reportedly loves the double chasers there during Happy Hour.

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If Rahm hurries, he’ll be able to down a cup at Coronas Coffee Shop at 909 W. Irving Park Road. Not the entire eyeballs, mind you – just the coronas. Or perhaps he could savor the flavors at the House of Hookah, located at the tony northside address of 607 W. Belmost Avenue. The name alone evokes delightful images of the street corner at 2 a.m. on a Saturday night. I know! I got it! Rahm will feel quite at home sipping on a cup of brew at the Java N Mug found at 3247 W. Bryn Mawr Avenue. What could be better than a refreshing Java following by a good mugging!

Caliga Phelphs I’m non proficuus in Esperanto reddo. Tamen is est optimus EGO can operor. Proh , alieno Esperanto. Is unus est in Latin. Vestri absentis , Caliga Phelps , est derideo probus pitiful rudimentum impetro sicco suffragium pro midterms. Quidam quaedam quedam quidam a letdown pro lemma , EGO teneo , tamen hey , suus funny!

Any time Rahm gets that growling feeling in his tummy, kinda like Jimmy Carter on the way to Cleveland, he can always hop on over to Pinocchio’s Pizza & Wings at 3208 N Pulaski Ave. Or was that 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? I get confused sometimes. It’s so hard to keep up with the nose-growing thing. But it doesn’t really matter cuz’ Rahm knows a thing or two about post nasal drips. After all, he works with a bunch of them now! If he prefers San Francisco style pizza he can find comfort at Nancy’s Pizza at 2930 N Broadway Street. Now, I know, I know, Nancy’s claims to have thick crust, and I can vouch for their deep dish pies, but the well-kept local secret is that Nancy’s is really best known about town for their thin-crust wedges. And they’ll even put anchovies on their slices upon request – dead fish are sure to make Rahm feel right at home!

‘ma s hychydig hychydig Jimmy Certiwr diddanion achos ‘ch yn darllen bleser. Do , ]n pawb i mewn Cymraeg UPDATE : Jimmy Certiwr chynanwyd ” Hymennydd Farw “. I mewn 1976. Certiwr ceudod canfu chwningen acha ‘r blaenio , a had a ‘n ofnus breakdown. Again. I mewn pawb degwch , Certiwr ydys chan ‘r nicer Chomiwnyddion i maes ‘na. Wrth gwrs cadd ‘n annhymerus. adeinai i mewn i Cleveland! Yup! Got tossed mewn Cleveland chlafdy ar ôl tummy aethau acha a Delta Adwedd ‘n ddrwg peanuts , Amcana.

To make a night on the town complete there’s nothing like catching a flick at Whitecap Films, to be found on prestigious Greenview Avenue. I hear they actually let you cap a whitey during intermission. Now that’s customer service! But if Rahm wants to keep it low key he can always stop in for the matinee at the Morse Theatre. Nice way to keep the code when you’re running for office. You can never be too discreet.

λυπάμαι , Αγαπητέ αναγνώστης. εγώ πήρα επάνω έναs γλώσσα κλωτσάω σήμερα. συγχωρώ εμένα? καλός ευτυχισμένος κυνήγι επάνω Νοέμβριοs 2nd!

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Rich Mitchell

Rich Mitchell is the editor-in-chief of Conservative Daily News and the president of Bald Eagle Media, LLC. His posts may contain opinions that are his own and are not necessarily shared by Bald Eagle Media, CDN, staff or .. much of anyone else. Find him on twitter, facebook and

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