Editor’s Note: This article is satire and not intended to reflect actual events in any way.
According to The Hill, 62% of voters say Putin wouldn’t have invaded Ukraine if Trump were president. And according to the Palestinian Wasp, Der Spiel just run a poll showing 99.9% of Germans selected Vladimir Putin as the Man of the Century. This all happened after Merkel agreed to pay for the Russia gas pipeline and pledged to withhold funds from NATO to pay for Germany’s own defense. We must do what is best for Germany and the German People and not the NATO allies” Merkel said, according to the Wasp.
The Wasp also reports that Joe Biden spoke to Vladimir Putin and told him to take off the heat until after the election. Putin said Nyet
So the Big Guy said, no need to invade, just carve out Ukraine & gobble up the pieces and Putin said Nyet
So, then the EU decided to increases the pressure on Russia by blowing lots of hot air, while single-handedly Elon Musk does more to help Ukraine than all of them combined
Putin says Nyet
Then Belarus revokes her non-nuclear status, allowing Russia to mobilize nuclear forces in the country.
So the Big Guy said Russia could have Ukraine and give Taiwan to China and while Germany pays for oil pipeline and withholds NATO funds to pay for her own defense she declares Putin Man Of The Century
………As long as the Big Guy gets his usual 25%
Putin said Da!
The End
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