Why the Obama Loyalty Oath Teacher Rocks

The right-wing blogosphere has been a-twitter with the news that some associate prof at a community college (like that’s a real college) gave students a pledge sheet to swear eternal loyalty and fidelity to Dear Leader during… a math class.

For those of you who thought liberals ran the social science and humanities, but refrained from math and the hard sciences because, well, they’re hard, don’t worry — lefty academics have those fields covered too. Just in case one of you pesky right-wingers thought about infiltrating gemology or cartography or something boring like that.

The teacher was immediately persuaded to take a leave of absence without pay. She should be given a medal.

You see, the teacher actually had the guts to make clear something that had been unwritten since the 1960s: if you don’t toe the Democrat line, your grade ain’t gonna be just fine. Call it transparency, which is more than the Obama administration ever achieved.

But let’s not get carried away. It’s not like 90-95% of professors vote Democrat, right?

So this loyalty oath should be appreciated by those on both the right and left. It gives one a clear idea of what a professor actually thinks about your politics. If you’re a lefty, skip the readings, show up for half the classes, kick back in class, and expect to get extra credit for making a snide remark about Sarah Palin’s retard baby.

Oh, right. Grade inflation’s a figment of my imagination. Forgot.

If you’re a righty, prepare to take a monk-like vow of silence for at least four years (god love you if you go to graduate school), keep your mouth shut for fear you might be outed as an advocate of icky things like the Constitution or personal responsibility, and get a shrink on speed dial for Zoloft refills.

One ugly and memorable example provides context. Sitting in a doctoral-level class on Marx & Marxism (had to find out what all the killing and poverty was about), it was discovered by the rabidly left-wing prof that one of the wet-behind-the-ears students was writing for a conservative blog. The professor “outed” him triumphantly in class and harassed him mercilessly the rest of the semester. Because you know — compassion.

This was far from the only such experience at my university. Nasty withdrawal letters were posted on college websites explaining that the faculty was essentially “fascist,” completely rigid in its leftwing ideology, and the student was dropping out before she likely snapped and set fire to the place.

What was the problem? Lack of truth in advertising. There aren’t colleges or universities anymore in the United States. There are radical leftist think tanks. You don’t go to grad school to study social science but socialist science. And you’re not escaping the fools just because you are taking something as innocuous as math. Because socialist math dictates two plus two equals five.

So thank you, Associate Professor Sharon Sweet, for showing some guts and finally putting out your real classroom requirements. Vote for Obama and pass. Vote for the other side and fail. That’s open-mindedness, tolerance, and diversity, all wrapped up into a smiley-fascist blood pact to the country’s chief golfer and celebrity schmoozer. The head narcissist wouldn’t have it any other way.

Note: The author went to a community college and was just kidding about that line.