DISTRICT OF CRIMINALS — Fresh off blowing hot air at the press about the dire need to move U.S. energy dependence from oil to algae, President Barack “Downgrade” Obama today took daring steps, naming Batboy as the nation’s first Algae Czar.
In his first official decree, Batboy, who has lived openly in public for 27 years as Congresscriminal Henry Waxman from California, announced the president will issue an executive order later today to create the Dental Algae Reclamation Project, to be funded by confiscated tax returns of the 1%.
“Never before in our history has it been more important to explore alternative energy, what with vast deposits of natural gas that must remain in the earth in order to hasten the prophecy of Atlas Shruggedand the successful blocking of the Keystone XL pipeline to appease environmentalist voters in time for the 2012 election,” said WaxmanBatboy, who will continue to serve in Congress, since he doesn’t do anything there in the first place except try to take over the Internet so he can increase his bandwidth for viewing YouPorn videos of himself with The Wicked Witch of Congress.
The Dental Algae Reclamation Project will mandate that a lottery choose annual dental visits for all Americans, for the scraping of algae from their teeth. WaxmanBatboy said he and the 99% of Occupy Wall Street will be the first in line because they’ve “been storing enough algae in our mouths to fuel the nation for centuries,” WaxmanBatboy said.
In other news, the Downgrade administration will also empanel a commission to study the efficacy of renewing the horse and buggy as the dominant mode of American transportation, how well fat liposuctioned from Michael Moore could provide fuel for gas lamps in 100 million American homes, and whether Obama darling and failed solar energy company Soyndra can use a new $535 million loan guarantee to convert the dead into food to offset the rising cost of grocery bills
Solyndra Green is people!
Henry “Nostrilitis” (as Rush Limbaugh calls him) Waxman is at it again. On Thursday, November 17, 2011, during a House Energy and Commerce Committee subcommittee hearing on the Solyndra failure meeting, said, “I want to put this in perspective Dr. [Stephen] Chu, You’ve been trying to move our nation toward a clean energy economy. And that’s essential to protect American families from fires and droughts and floods and other extreme weather that climate change will bring.”
Waxman said the GOP was on the wrong side of history, applauding Chu and arguing that green subsidies like Solyndra were on the right side of history. He continued, “I think you’re on the right side of history [and] the Republicans are on the wrong side and I think what they’re doing is leading us astray, My message to my colleagues is to stop dancing on Solyndra’s grave.” BTW, this source, written by Waxman in November, 2011, explains Democrats’ view of climate change.
Solyndra was held in very high regard by President Barack Obama, who is focusing on subsidizing green technologies as a way of stimulating the economy. E-mails have surfaced in recent months showing that the White House pressured the Office of Management and Budget (OMB) to approve the Solyndra loan. Further, e-mails have surfaced showing that the Obama Administration pressured Solyndra to delay planned layoffs until after the 2010 elections.
Waxman said that this was not a big deal, saying it was merely “unfortunate” that taxpayers had lost $535 million a failed clean energy loan. “We have lost the money, it’s unfortunate, but there’s no scandal there. There’s nothing there.”