If you have any teenage daughters in the room, you might want to give them $50 and send them to the mall.

When Michelle Ray linked me to a Russian campaign ad from Vladimir Putin that slutted up the dictator’s 2012 re-election tour, something instantly seemed familiar. I had seen the ad before and knew the meme to be precisely (slap) identical. Being fluent in Russian, I can verify that it is the same idea.

The title of this masterpiece is “Opening women up for their first time.” The video translation of “elect” should be “candidate.” The closing of the ad says: “Putin: First Time — Only for Love.”

And just in case you thought that was a “fluke”:

This one is called “Russian Beauty Describes Her First Time.” The weird phrases “Safe as houses” translates to “solid as a rock.” But wait, the Vladdy Daddy gets even more suggestive:

The phrase in the middle is “Let’s Do It Together.” At the end: “Elections December 4th.” The English-language music is really ironic.

So what’s next for the Obama campaign? We’ve had the war on women, war on dogs, Bane capital, Mitt hates cookies, taxathon, Julia, vote your lady parts, Big Bird, binders full of women, bayonets and horses, and now, a creepy college girl’s “first time” confession. Now, that’s flexibility.

Mikamatto (CC)

However, I thought it might not be a bad idea to take this opportunity to point out a few interesting facts about BDSM that were apparently either skipped entirely, or at least misrepresented in the novel. First, I’d like to start with something obvious – yes, there are conservatives out there that engage in some form of BDSM, whether it involves inflicting pain, or simply involves a dominant and submissive relationship dynamic (D/s). Come on now folks! Let’s start using those little gray cells, shall we? There are some out there that would argue that many “traditional” marriages are really just committed D/s relationships, with one being generally dominated by the other. It’s logical, if you really think about it. If both are dominant, logic says they’ll constantly battle each other for supremacy. On the other end, neither one wants to take charge, so they can easily end up being undecided about the simplest of things. Now, if one is relatively dominant, and the other relatively submissive, that lends itself to a much more harmonious existence. Add a few sex toys to the bedroom, and that’s a recipe for a kinky relationship.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Now, onto the little things that bothered me about that lovely little book. First of all, anyone that decides to get into a master and slave contract with someone without knowing them for quite some time beforehand is downright insane. And no, I’m not buying that a virgin would jump into that lifestyle from the beginning either. But, the biggest fallacy is that the dominant is completely in control. The author made a valiant effort to show the dynamic accurately, but missed the target by failing to stress that the submissive is actually the one in control. Assuming that it is a safe, sane and consensual relationship in the first place, the dominant cannot do anything without the prior permission of the submissive. The dominant only has power because it is given by the submissive. That message needed to be repeated, and often. It’s irresponsible not to do that in this sort of writing, since it could (and did) have a wide general appeal. I’m not even going to get into the little details that just don’t ring true.

In case you didn’t guess it yet, I’m not writing this from a theoretical point of view. This is a “been there, and done that” for me, and no, I am not answering on whether or not it’s only in my past – my personal life, my marriage, my choices, my business. But, I will say a little bit more about my past. I’ve known several politically conservative couples over the years that consider themselves members of the BDSM community. Honestly, the majority of the couples I knew with dominant men paired with submissive women were conservatives. That is my personal experience, so it is anecdotal at best. But, that doesn’t make it meaningless either. And, my personal introduction to at least part of this world was with two men (not at the same time, of course!) that were conservative.

My primary point is that what people do in their bedrooms used to be at least relatively sacred, as in others respected their privacy. And any intimate matters used to be off limits. That doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. Sometimes it takes the form of people wanting government to help them “save people’s souls” from sin. If anyone doesn’t know my lack of concern for those non-issues by now, they haven’t been paying attention. But what really disturbs me is what appears to be a rampant disease of trying to dig up dirt on other conservatives – out the skeletons in their closets, or otherwise ridicule them. In case you can’t guess, I have nothing but contempt for people that do that sort of thing. That’s saying something, since there was a time when I wasn’t above yanking skeletons from the closets of politicians.

So, here it is – conservatives can be kinky. There is no law against it. There is nothing to be ashamed of if one chooses to do something off the wall in the bedroom, as long as it’s “safe, sane and consensual.” And there is nothing wrong with conservative adults enjoying or creating visual or literary arts that depict those kinky activities. I understand that there are many conservatives that find this sort of thing offensive, and that’s obviously fine as well. It is not fine for conservatives to force each other to view, read about, or participate in kinky sex. That said, like it or not, this is one thing the Libertarians got right – the intimate relationships of life are not meant for public or governmental interference. That’s why we call them “intimate.”

*Special thanks to Kurt Schlichter for being his #caring self, and coming up with the title for this post!

Tom Kubistant (Source: Westlaw Insider)

Tom Kubistant teaches a “human sexuality” class at Western Nevada College.  According to an article from The Blaze, Mr. Kubistant is accused of “requiring students to masturbate and publicly reveal personal sex-fantasies in order to pass” his class.

Karen Royce, a 60-year-old student who was taking the class made her objections known to Mr. Kubistant, who became “agitated” with her objections. She then took her complaints to the legal department at Western Nevada College, but was told that Mr. Kubistant had the “upmost freedom in teaching and in ‘research.’” The legal department used a waiver Ms. Royce had signed at the beginning of the class  against her. This waiver included the outline of the class, and stated that “the class may contain ‘language’ that would make students feel uncomfortable.”

Getting no help from the college, Ms. Royce filed a federal complaint  in U.S. District Court against Western Nevada College.

Ms. Royce’s attorney, Ken McKenna gave a statement to ABCNews.com, stating:

 “How the authorities for this college could allow this man to conduct his class in this fashion and in effect say that‘s OK with us is so outrageous it’s beyond belief. I think he needs to be terminated. He has crossed so many ethical, legal and moral boundaries… My mind immediately went to the question is he grooming these young 17-, 18-, 19-year-olds so he can have further contact with them outside the school environment? His behavior borders on perversion.”

Mr. Kubistant’s behavior does not “border on perversion”, it is without a doubt perversion, and criminal! For the students who are 17-years-old, this should be considered sexual abuse of a child!

Karen Royce is a hero for speaking out against this man! However, what is most troubling is the fact that she seems to be the only one to have taken a stand over this. She is 60-years-old, undoubtedly sure of herself as a woman, and unwilling to be intimidated by this pervert.

Where are all the younger students? Why has no one spoken out against this man before now? Yes, it is true that our society is inundated with sex, and a certain amount of desensitization has happened because of it, but it is very hard to believe that Karen Royce is the first person to have ever have an issue with Mr. Kubistant’s “curriculum”. Why has no one taken a stand before now? They have allowed themselves to be bullied and degraded by a pervert in a position of authority.

We as a nation have allowed the very foundation of our country to be eroded to the point that we are not teaching our children to stand up for what is right. We have allowed our children to become lemmings rather than leaders. We have not protected our children’s freedom. We have failed our children by not teaching them to “buck the system” when it is wrong.

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream.
It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.”
Ronald Reagan