So the powers that be at MSNBC have chosen a new tagline, “Lean Forward.” And they’re introducing it today. How original! That must have been one heck of a focus group that swooned over that bit of marketing excellence! I guess we can dispense with the legacy “Assume the Position,” aka ATP, which also involves leaning forward – though probably to a greater degree than what the MSNBC wizards contemplate. And let us not forget that all those drones who are Assuming the Position have likely done it repeatedly in the past – which fact contributes to another disease of the joints – BOHICA – Bend Over, Here It Comes Again! A guy could get whiplash from all the leaning forward, ATPing, and BOHICAing going on.
As a commenter on Hot Air pointed out upon hearing the exciting news “I would have thought their new motto would be ‘MSNBC, Last place is still a place.’”
Another Hot Air denizen went a step further:
I’ve got a few promotional ideas for their line-up. Free of charge.
Lean Forward Dylan Ratigan Puts the Lotion on the Skin
Lean Forward Rachel Maddow Needs to Check You for Ticks
Lean Forward Ed Schultz is Coming Down the Hallway
Lean Forward Andrea Mitchell Doesn’t Look Any Younger
Lean Forward Chris Matthews is Here For Your Reach-around, Mr. President
Lean Forward Keith Olbermann, But Not Within 100 Yards of Contessa Brewer. And Stop Calling and Leaving the Notes. I Know it’s You.
– David Combs
Phil Griffin is the President of MSNBC. It is while under his expert tutelage that Lean Forward has risen to such prominence. According to Griffin, the tagline “defines us and defines our competition.” Well, I don’t know about the competition but it certainly defines MSNBC! One would imagine that by executive decree, the entire staff will now assemble in the employee lounge for some communal Leaning Forward prior to the morning news. Will Rachel Maddow participate? How about Chris Matthews? This could bring a whole new meaning to Hardball. At least we now know what causes the syndrome. The visuals are stunning. Keith Olbermann leans forward – falls flat on his face. Film at 11.
Even the liberals are mocking MSNBC’s new tagline. For evidence, I submit the following tidbits of wisdom gleaned from reader comments on the Huffington Post:
“You are now tuned into MSNBC…grab your ankles, nonsense will be forced upon you…”
“Great slogan, but if they (opinions) are earned could we take them away too? What does one have to do to get a thrill up his leg? How does one earn that?”
“How about ‘Bend Over.’ That’s how I feel after watching Chris or Keith.”
“Lean Forward. Brilliant. /sarc”
“Nooooo!!! This needs to be axed right now before it’s too late! The Place For Politics was so great while this is horrible! Lean Forward?!? Imagine the double entendres that are going to follow this!”
See what I mean? The marketing geniuses at MSNBC appear to lack the minimum daily requirement of common sense. This whole entertainment bonanza reminds me of my days in journalism school when a professor, who just happened to be a former copy editor for the San Francisco Examiner proclaimed “You don’t have to have a dirty mind to be a good copy editor. But it helps!”
My only regret is that I took up editorial writing instead of becoming a marketing writer. Imagine the money I could have raked in writing taglines like “Lean Forward.” Makes me want to cry, I’m so envious. Yes, sir, I prefer the 1099 option.
If Lean Forward won, just imagine the taglines they must have discarded:
- Topple backwards.
- Fall sideways.
- Up yours!
- Down the hatch!
- The Spin Starts Here!
Okay, I’m slow, but I’m getting there. Considering the competition, Lean Forward is the best of the bunch. They had no choice. As reported on www.fireandreamitchell.com this new MSNBC slogan is no joke.
“No seriously! This is MSNBC’s new slogan! No longer will it be ‘The Place for Politics.’ Either this is some sort of progressive type slogan or simply them hearkening back to the good ole days of the 1990s when Monica Lewinsky used to do this with Bill Clinton.”
I’m not kidding, that’s the quote! Unbelievable!
Leaned a Bit Too Far Forward
Here are a few more reactions from the public, plucked at random off the web:
- “The tagline ‘defines us and defines our competition…’ Their programming defines them. That is why they have relatively few viewers.”
- “Lean Forward…and Reach Around.”
- “Lean forward? A march to socialism is to lean backwards to proven failed policies worldwide! What morons!”
- “News Flash for MSNBC: A new tag line won’t help your ratings.”
- “That’s it? Really!?! Weak. So very, very weak.”
- “Lean forward = bend over. Are we supposed to take that as an order?”
- “The tagline, “Lean Forward,” will be publicly unveiled Tuesday, at the start of a two-year advertising campaign intended to raise awareness of the channel among viewers, advertisers and distributors.” Good luck with that.”
- “Lean forward, grab your ankles, and you’ll be prepared for a dose of what the left has in store for all of us…”
- “LOL. Lean forward and change the channel to Fox.”
- “If I had more internet skill I’d post the pictures of Obama “leaning forward” to bow to the Saudi King, the Japanese leader, etc. Perfect for their ads, ha ha ha.”
- “Media Schadenfreude.”
- “Sounds like the punchline to a dirty joke.”
- “Lean forward? In other words, unbalanced. Definitely not fair and balanced.”
- “IF MSNBC was a legitimate news organization, they wouldn’t be “leaning” in ANY direction…”
- “They can lean forward and kiss my A$$.”
I’ve got to cut this editorial short. I can’t take it anymore. I’m getting sick to my stomach. I’m going to the bathroom, gonna lean forward and take an Obama. There, I feel better already!