Tag Archives: Joe Biden

Obama Won’t Dump Biden for Hillary

joe-biden

Good ‘ole Uncle Joe has been absolutely gaffe-tastic the last few weeks, but that won’t lead to Obama switching VP’s for the 2012 run.

After telling Virginian’s that they can help win North Carolina, telling supporters that Romney and Ryan will “put y’all in chains”, asking a wheelchair-bound Senator to”stand up” and more, you’d think that the President would be tripping over himself to make a change. Afterall, Obama-Biden is a beatable ticket, Obama-Clinton could be a more difficult challenge. A Clinton-Ryan debate would also likely have fewer highlights of Ryan easily besting his opponent.

Sarah Palin even vocalized her opinion on the matter saying, “Really the strategists there in the Obama campaign have got to look at a diplomatic way of replacing Joe Biden on the ticket with Hillary.” But will they?

No way. If Obama replaces Biden, he’s admitting that his campaign is in trouble and can only be saved by Hillary Clinton – and there’s no love lost between Obama and the Clintons. The narcissist-in-Chief would also be admitting that he made a mistake in choosing Joe Biden in the first place.

Secondly, Palin’s play makes it her idea to make the swap. If Obama switches horses, he’s taken the Conservative diva’s advice over his own judgement. What are the odds of that?

The most-significant reason Obama won’t consider a change is that he believes the election is all about him. He doesn’t believe Biden helps or hurts his chances at re-election because only his persona and agenda matter to the voters. While that is absolutely true of his base, those not-so-committed will continue to sour on the grey-haired gaffer as they become more-impressed with the young and intelligent Rep. Paul Ryan.

The President only has another 22 days to make the swap if he’s going to. The Democrat Presidential ticket has to be decided no later than the DNC convention in September. It is far more-likely that they’ll hide Uncle Joe from the media for awhile and let the noise around his colorful mistakes slowly fade into the woodwork. After all, “You didn’t build that” is going to do far more damage than anything Biden could say.

Format and Schedule of 2012 Presidential Debates

After the grueling GOP nominee debates last year, political junkies are just dying for another round of “this or that”, “tweet your question”, “raise your hand if you agree” and other network gimmickry intended to entertain everyone involved. Not this time.

Wednesday, the Commission on Presidential Debates announced the number, dates, and format of the debates to be held between Mitt Romney and President Obama as well as a single event between Joe Biden and a VP candidate to be named later.

All of the debates will be broadcast live on ABC, CBS, C-SPAN, FOX and NBC, as well as all cable news channels including CNBC, CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC. Youtube.com will be hosting a live stream of the event on it’s political page.

There will be three 90-minutes debates between the Presidential candidates with a similar session for the veeps.

Presidential Debate Schedule:

  • October 3rd, 2012 at the University of Denver 9pm Eastern
    • Subject: Domestic policy
    • Length: 90 minutes
    • Format: Candidates standing at pulpits/lecterns. Topics divided into into six, 15-minute segments. Moderator will question the candidates.
  • October 16th, 2012 – Hofstra University, Hempstead, NY. Town Hall format
  • October 22nd, 2012 – Lynn University, Boca Raton, FL. Subject: Foreign policy
    • Subject: Foreign policy
    • Length: 90 minutes
    • Format: Candidates sitting at table. Topics divided into into six, 15-minute segments. Moderator will question the candidates.

Vice Presidential Debate

  • October 11th, 2012 at Centre College in Danville, KY
    • Length: unknown
    • Format: unknown

SENATOR Joe Biden’s Prophetic Words To Chief Justice Roberts

john_roberts_confirmation

If you are not a Bible prophecy watcher, this video may be too much for you. However, I would have never imagined Joe Biden speaking prophecy!

This is Chief Justice John Roberts confirmation hearing, and then-Senator Joe Biden was questioning him on the “Micro-chip”. Senator Biden tells John Roberts:

“Can a microscopic tag be implanted in a person’s body to track his every movement? There’s actual discussion about that.You will rule on that, mark my words, before your tenure is over.”

For all the prophecy naysayers out there, here is an article- by an Obama supporter- that explains:

The Obama Health care bill under Class II (Paragraph 1, Section B) specifically includes ‘‘(ii) a class II device that is implantable.” Then on page 1004 it describes what the term “data” means in paragraph 1, section B:

14 ‘‘(B) In this paragraph, the term ‘data’ refers to in15
formation respecting a device described in paragraph (1),
16 including claims data, patient survey data, standardized
17 analytic files that allow for the pooling and analysis of
18 data from disparate data environments, electronic health
19 records, and any other data deemed appropriate by the
20 Secretary”

What exactly is a class II device that is implantable? Lets see…

Approved by the FDA, a class II implantable device is a “implantable radiofrequency
transponder system for patient identification and health information.” The purpose of a class II device is to collect data in medical patients such as “claims data, patient survey data, standardized analytic files that allow for the pooling and analysis of data from disparate data environments, electronic health records, and any other data deemed appropriate by the Secretary.”

This Obama supporter ends his article with this:

So will everyone be covered by the public option eventually??????

And does that mean everyone will be chipped?????

Micro-chipping citizens is part of Obamacare! Chief Justice John Roberts ruled on this, just as Joe Biden said he would.

If you follow the link to the quoted article, you will see that the author thinks those who receive the chip are  the “lucky ones”.

Now, believe what you will, where Bible prophecy is concerned, but personally, I would have never imagined Joe Biden to be the one to speak such prophetic words!

Now, is Obamacare the actual Mark of the Beast? There is great debate, even among religious circles, as to the answer to this question. I cannot say that it is, but neither can I say it will not be.  However, this Scripture certainly makes is clear that someday, it will come to pass, that all will be required to receive a mark of some kind.

“And he causes all, the small and the great, and the rich and the poor, and the free men and the slaves, to be given a mark on their right hand or on their forehead, and he provides that no one will be able to buy or to sell, except the one who has the mark, either  the name of the beast or  the number of his name.”  Revelation 13:16-17

Out-of-touch and out of answers

obamaSnooty-300x180

The media is missing the obvious – Obama isn’t just out-of-touch, he, and his administration are out of answers! Obama is offering 4 more years of the same things he’s been doing and on foreign policy.. his own VP (the guy he brought along for foreign policy experience) is obviously confused by what is or isn’t happening in the middle east.

While “the private sector is doing fine” echoed through the media, most took his walk-back as the honest rebuke of an accidental comment. The press also managed to almost totally ignore the craptastic reasoning of Obama’s walk-back. The President focused on the government sector: government employees, those paid by taxpayers, instead of just admitting that his policies have failed.

The president is using old-school “chicken in every pot and a car in every garage” and class warfare campaigning to appease the masses while at the same time cozying up to the wealthiest in the nation. It’s actually almost cartoonish. His recent focus on gaining the support of multi-millionaire Hollywood starlets and executives is more of the same. Even ABC is starting to question the President’s ability to relate to the average American:

Fixing the economy will be put off for a few hours this evening: President Obama will be busy shaking down some celebriguests attending a fundraising dinner hosted by Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour at Parker’s New York City home.

Tickets cost $40,000, about as much as the average person makes in a year. For donating all that money, what kind of party favors do these guests get? We can’t afford to attend ourselves to find out firsthand, and even if we could, journalistic principles would bar us from going in the first place.

Obama’s Vice President Joe Biden said on Thursday that “The democratic movement that swept across the Middle East,  the so called Arab Spring, began when a lowly fruit vendor set himself ablaze to protest a corrupt government, igniting a confrontation magnified by social media that literally set off a revolution that was waiting to happen for well over 200 years”. Considering that the Egyptian military had, on that same day. decided to dissolve parliament, Biden is either misinformed (out-of-touch) or misguided (also.. out-of-touch).

Who in America feels that either of these political elitists actually understands where the middle class, true-blue American comes from? Biden is busy backing a military coup while Obama is courting the ultra-Rich of Hollywood while decrying the ability of any of us to reach their level of wealth – by they, I mean Obama and Biden .. ok, probably the Hollywood lamesters too.

Watching the excuse factory deal with the Russia-supplied, civilian killing assault helicopters made the Obama legacy look even less worthy. Either the Obama administration has an intelligence arm that cannot determine new helicopters from re-furbished ones or .. they are covering up for Obama’s inept foreign policy.

Obama has no forward looking plans and is threatening America with four more years of failing progressive policies. He’s blaming Bush (again), setting this class against that, this type of American against another, supporting business-killing policy and may be the worst foreign policy president ever.  All that tells an intelligent person is that the President.. is out of answers – but, at least he has the ultra-rich Hollywood crowd to back him in 2012.

Biden’s “gaffe” really a revelation?

Vice President Joe Biden’s habit of speaking without thinking may have been more of a revelation this time than his typical gaffe.

At a campaign event in Iowa last week, Biden said, “…we want to create what’s called a global minimum tax…”

As Justen Charters points out in the latest edition of Dear Citizen TV, Biden isn’t the only member of the Obama administration that is floating that idea around.

Gene Sperling has a rather extensive D.C. employment history. Appointed by President Obama in January 2011, Sperling is currently the Director of the National Economic Council and Assistant tot he President for Economic Policy. He assumed that post following the departure of Larry Summers.

Sperling has also been counselor and lead policy advisor to the Secretary of the Department of the Treasury, Timothy Geithner, was the Director of the National Economic Council under the Clinton administration, has been on staff at the Council on Foreign Relations and was a consultant for Goldmann Sachs in 2008.

Gene Sperling is a Senior Fellow at the Center for American Progress, which is largely credited for authoring the Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009. Board Members and Fellows at CAP include George Soros, who wrote a book entitled Open Society: Reforming Global Capitalism, former “Green Jobs Czar” Van Jones and former Economic Advisor to the President Larry Summers.

What’s the advice that economics ‘genius’ Gene Sperling provides? We can turn to his book Pro-Growth Progressive: An Economic Strategy for Shared Prosperity.

Sperling talks a great deal about open global trade and reducing poverty throughout the world. One strategy he states is to “go beyond the UN Millenium Development Goal… the world needs a new global compact.”

As you heard in the video, the UN Millenium Declaration was practically identical to the Global Poverty Act which was authored by then Senator Obama. To quote the UNMD, “Global challenges must be managed in a way that distributes the costs and burdens fairly in accordance with the basic principles of equity and social justice. Those who suffer or who benefit least deserve help from those who benefit most.”

If it had passed, the GPA would have given the President of the United States unmitigated authority to distribute wealth.

“A bill to require the President to develop and implement a comprehensive strategy to further the United States foreign policy objective of promoting the reduction of global poverty, the elimination of extreme global poverty, and the achievement of the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people worldwide, between 1990 and 2015, who live on less than $1 per day.”

The Center for American Progress seems to be a common thread among those in the current administration that have a radical global agenda to redistribute wealth, whether it be through tax code, Cap and Trade and the “Green” Agenda, or by simply giving the president unyielding power. Dear Citizen TV promises to expose the truth and call out globalist, communists, greeniacs and the like. Click here for more videos.

More Financial Difficulties in Solar Industry

Another solar panel company has laid off half of its workforce after receiving millions of tax dollars in the form of loans, grants, and tax credits. The company was lauded by VP Joe Biden, U S Secretary of labor Hilda Solis, and former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland as being a “model of innovation and success”. The company had 80 employees but has just laid of 40 of those employees citing upgrades in the assembly line for the layoffs. The plant is located on Progress Drive in Perrysburg, Ohio.

Willard & Kelsey Solar Group LLC received a $5 million loan from the Ohio Department of Development, a $10 million loan from the Ohio Air Quality Development Authority, a $3.3 million job creation tax credit, and a $701,000 grant for the training of 50 current and 250 new employees. The 250 new jobs at the 262,000 square-foot plant along State Rt. 25 were promised in February, 2011 but have yet to be produced. The company goal of producing 600-700 jobs in the next two years and up to 4,000 more jobs in the next five or six years seems to be farther off than originally expected.

The layoffs have been confirmed by WTOL 11 TV and the executive manager of the Ohio Solar Hub, Sophia Fisher. The company expects the laid off workers to be rehired eventually but the company’s CEO and Chairman of the Board, Michael Cicak, would not give a timeline on any rehiring. Cicak stated that they are improving the efficiency of the assembly line and that they still have about 30 employees on the payroll.

The costs involved in changing the assembly line, profit margins, and quarterly earnings have not been released. Since the company is privately held there is no requirement to release this information.

 

Vice President Biden Announces New Shovel-Ready Project

Joe Biden flew to Oklahoma on Tuesday to announce a brand-new stimulus effort from the Obama administration.

Previous “shovel-ready” attempts to stimulate the economy have produce no results and called into question how quickly the government can do much of anything. To prove that there are such things as shove-ready projects, Biden introduce Obama’s program to combat the startling new problem of sinkholes in Oklahoma.

“Imagine how many shovels we can put into workers hands to fill in these sinkholes! This is a big f—-in deal!” the Vice-President said.

Calling it the Sink Hole Intervention Team or the S.H.I.T. program for short, Biden pointed out the availability of both shovels and dirt in Oklahoma and said that putting the two together to fill in the gaping menaces would be a huge boost to the Sooner economy.

Explaining the sinkhole intervention techniques, Biden said that “workers can take dirt from right beside the sinkholes and fill in the chasms.” When asked what about the new holes that would result from using dirt close to the holes Biden replied, “another hole that needs another shovel – this program is just what America needs.”

 

Disclaimer: This post is satire – Joe Biden nor anyone else has introduced a program to fill in sinkholes using government stimulus – but I think they would if they’d thought of it first.

Green Libs and Rahm

I am Bam.

I am Bam.
Bam I am.

That Bam-I-am!
That Bam-I-am!
I do not like
that Bam-I-am!

Do you like
green libs and Rahm?

I do not like them,
Bam-I-am.
I do not like
green libs and Rahm.

Would you like them
on Wall Street?

I would not like them
on Wall Street.
I would not like them
eating meat.
I do not like
green libs and Rahm.
I do not like them,
Bam-I-am.

Would you like them
in the House?
Would you like them
as your spouse?

I do not like them
in the House.
I do not like them
as my spouse.
I do not like them
on Wall Street.
I do not like them
eating meat.
I do not like green libs and Rahm.
I do not like them, Bam-I-am.

Anthony Weiner

Would you like them
as a Weiner?
Would you like them
for your deener?

Not as a Weiner.
Not as my deener.
Not in the House.
Not as my spouse.
I would not like them Barney Frank.
I would not like them they smell rank.
I would not like green libs and Rahm.
I do not like them, Bam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
With Joe Biden?
Like them! Like them!
Mouth be widen.

I would not,
could not,
with Joe Biden.

You may like libs.
You will see.
You may like libs
Eat a pea!

I would not, eat a little pea.
Not with Biden! You let me be.

I do not like them as a Weiner.
I do not like them for my deener.
I do not like them in the House.
I do not like them as my spouse.
I do not like them on Wall Street.
I do not like them eating meat.
I do not like green libs and Rahm.
I do not like them, Bam-I-am.

A Pelosi! A Pelosi!
A Pelosi! A Pelosi!
Could you, would you,
with Pelosi?

Not with some Botox! Not with a pea!
Not with Pelosi! Bam! Let me be!

I would not, could not, as a Weiner.
I could not, would not, for my deener.
I will not like them in the House.
I will not like them dirty louse.
I will not like them on Wall Street.
I will not like them with some meat.
I do not like green libs and Rahm.
I do not like them, Bam-I-am.

Say!
With Eric Holder?
Here with Eric Holder!
Would you, could you, with Eric Holder?

I would not, could not,
with Eric Holder.

Would you, could you, with Debbie Downer?

I would not, could not,
with Debbie Downer.
Not in the House. Not on TV.
Not as a Weiner. Not as my deener.
I do not like them, Bam, you see.

Not with a Barney. Not as a Frank.
Not as a Weiner. Not with his crank.
I will not like them on Wall Street.
I do not like them eating meat!

You do not like
green libs and Rahm?

I do not
like them,
Bam-I-am.

Could you, would you,
with Michelle?

I would not,
could not,
with Michelle!

Would you, could you,
were she in Hell?

I could not, would not, with Michelle.
I will not, will not, though she’s in Hell.
I will not like them Barney Frank.
I will not like them they smell rank.
Not as a Weiner! Not as my deener!
Not in the House! Not as my spouse!
I do not like them on Wall Street.
I do not like them eating meat.
I do not like green libs and Rahm.
I do not like them, Bam-I-am.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like
green libs and Rahm!
I do not like them,
Bam-I-am.

You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Bam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.

Say!
I still hate green libs and Rahm!
I do! I hate them, Bam-I-am!
And I won’t like them as a Weiner.
And I won’t like them for my deener.
And I won’t like them in the House.
Or on Wall Street. Or as my spouse.
Or with some Botox, or with a pea.
They are so awful, bad, you see!

So I won’t eat them like a pea,
While watching Biden on TV.
And I won’t like them in the House.
And I won’t like them filthy louse.
And I won’t like them like a Weiner
And I won’t like them for my deener.
AND I won’t like them here or there.
Say! I don’t like them ANYWHERE!

I do so hate
green libs and Rahm!
Screw You!
Screw You,
Bam-I-am!

—PolarCoug (With an assist compliments of Dr. Seuss!)

The Reporter Who Confonted Biden About His "Rape" Reference Is Now Under Investigation

Do you remember Jason Mattera, the reporter who confronted Vice President Joe Biden for his claims that “rape will go up” if President Obama’s “Job’s Bill” isn’t passed?  (here’s a reminder of it below)

Well, it turns out that Biden’s camp is so upset about it that they’ve asked for Jason Mattera to be investigated to see if he broke any rules in capturing the Vice President off guard.  It kind of makes me think of the “pay to play” policy that this administration has been accused of, only in reverse.  You see, if you get on the Obama administration’s good side, then nice things can happen for you, but if you get on their bad side, then they (seem to) seek punishment or retribution.  This does not bode well, my friends.

Hat tip to Red State for bringing this story to my attention on Twitter. (and subsequently, their website)

What do you guys think?  Do you think the reporter had it coming?  Or is it a sign of bad things when confronting a politician can get you in trouble like this?  I know that some anchors on CNN had very harsh words for Jason Mattera “deceiving” the Vice President.  What’s your take?

Let us know in the comments below or on Facebook or on Twitter.

 

Never trust a Vegetable: Not even Joe Biden

So, there’s good old Joe Biden, swimming in a sea of Testosterone, shouting to the world that the Republicans’ opposition to Barack the Wonderful’s jobs bill is going to be the catalyst for more rapes in America. Now doesn’t that just hack your Weiner? Stand up, Joe, let ‘em see ya! Well, not all of ‘ya, just the part that rapes America.

Smokin’ Joe just doesn’t get the irony. Perhaps we should send him a box of cigars and a blue dress to help him remember just which political party’s president came closer to rape than any other chief executive in the history of our republic. Can’t you just envision Biden asking Slick Willie after the fact: “Did you get your stimulus, Bill?” We’re not just talkin’ rape here. We’re talkin’ rape rape. Like Anthony Weiner, Joe Biden is his own Wurst Enemy.

The fact of the matter is that the Democratic Party routinely takes the position that sexual perversions are a-okay just as long as the perverter, so to speak, is an enlightened liberal.

Joe Biden

In other words, the Democratic party aids and abets rape, abortion, homosexuality, beastiality, pedophilia, fornication, voyeurism, exhibitionism, paraphilia, bigamy, public masturbation, gerbils coming out of Gere, congressmen’s roommates running homosexual prostitution rings out of their apartment, and a wide assortment of other twisted behaviors limited only by the imaginations of the most vile assortment of sexy socialists on the planet. The Democrats have no morals. Well, that’s not exactly true. They are, in fact, immoral, amoral, and Balmoral (that Scottish castle has a most unfortunate moniker).

Neal A. Maxwell correctly pegged the decline of our civilization to the decline in morality in a speech a quarter of a century ago:

Those committed to the keeping of the stern but sweet seventh commandment in a time of increasing immorality will need to be special. Average won’t do now, anymore than average was adequate in the days of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Civilizations as well as souls are at stake. One scholar who studied dozens of civilizations forecast that in “the struggle between nations, those who cling to chastity will, in all likelihood, keep the upper hand”—and a commentator added “[because] they try to keep intact the family which promiscuity and homosexuality tend to destroy” (The Human Life Review, Spring 1978, p. 71).
—Neal A. Maxwell

There is a funny thing about morals, or the lack thereof. People (read Democrats/ Liberals / Socialists/ Communists/ Envirowacko nutjobs/ OWS freaks) who exist at the lower end of the moral spectrum simply can’t comprehend that other people can live on a higher moral plane than themselves. It is beyond their comprehension. They think that everyone on this rock spinning around the sun is just as depraved as they are. Hence, we see prominent Democrats attempting to equate conservative political positions to moral depravity… Paging Joe Biden. Paging Joe Biden. Please pick up the white courtesy telephone for the big picture. Paging Joe Biden. Paging Joe Biden…

Joe must have some hair plugs in too tight. In case Biden still doesn’t get it, this is a big effing deal. Doesn’t it just give you a little pause every time Biden accuses other people of committing rape? Doesn’t that just say something about where Biden is in his heart?

Henry Fairlie has written perceptively in his book The Seven Deadly Sins Today concerning how “the lustful person will usually be found to have a terrible hollowness at the center of his life” and about “the desert he has made of himself and his life” (Washington, D.C.: New Republic Books, 1978, p. 187). “Lust,” wrote Fairlie, “is not interested in its partners, but only in the gratification of its own craving. … Lust dies at the next dawn, and when it returns in the evening, to search where it may, it is with its own past erased” (Seven Sins, p. 175).

Those so drained by sensuality do, in fact, seek to compensate for their loneliness by sensations. However, in the arithmetic of appetite, anything multiplied by zero still totals zero!

—Neal A. Maxwell

 

Don’t you just get the irresistible urge to gently plink Biden on the head with a rubber mallet just to listen to the hollow sound bouncing around between his ears? Perhaps Biden has this proclivity for repeatedly saying stupid stuff simply because he is hollow, lustful, and lonely? Paging Dr. Sigmund Freud. Pick up on Line 2 for a lustful politician. Paging Dr. Sigmund Freud…

Biden’s verbal jousts hit at the core of something besides morality. The other issue at stake is honesty. Do we really believe that Biden is sincere? Now that’s entirely possible, but doubtful. Biden is a political animal. Despite his penchant for tripping all over his tongue, the fact of the matter is that Biden is perfectly aware that, stripped of all spin, he is merely sputtering lies.

The late James E. Faust, a Democrat, had this to say about honesty. Are you paying attention, Joe?

There are different shades of truth telling. When we tell little white lies, we become progressively color-blind. It is better to remain silent than to mislead. The degree to which each of us tells the whole truth and nothing but the truth depends on our conscience. David Casstevens of the Dallas Morning News tells a story about Frank Szymanski, a Notre Dame center in the 1940s, who had been called as a witness in a civil suit at South Bend, Indiana.

“Are you on the Notre Dame football team this year?” the judge asked.

“Yes, Your Honor.”

“What position?”

“Center, Your Honor.”

“How good a center?”

Szymanski squirmed in his seat, but said firmly, “Sir, I’m the best center Notre Dame has ever had.”

Coach Frank Leahy, who was in the courtroom, was surprised. Szymanski always had been modest and unassuming. So when the proceedings were over, he took Szymanski aside and asked why he had made such a statement. Szymanski blushed. “I hated to do it, Coach,” he said. “But, after all, I was under oath.”

—James E. Faust

 

Joe Biden might as well be a cocker spaniel. After all, he has achieved that blessed state of color-blindness. Biden knows in his heart that anything said or done in an attempt to deceive is nothing but a lie. Biden’s equating of opposition to Obama’s jobs bill to rape is nothing but a lie, and Joe knows it. He won’t admit it, but he knows it.

Public virtue, which expects men to rise above self-interest and to act in the public interest with wisdom and courage, was so evident in leaders like George Washington, who, we used to declare, could never tell a lie, and Abraham Lincoln, known as “Honest Abe.” In the past few years we have seen “official after official—both on the national and the local political scene—put self-interest … above the larger public interest. …

“Men and women have … been removed from federal office and even gone to jail in our times because they exceeded the limits set by the framers [of our Constitution and God’s commandments]” (Charles A. Perry, “Religious Assumptions Undergird the Entire U. S. Constitution,” Deseret News, 27 Sept. 1987, p. A-19).

One reason for the decline in moral values is that the world has invented a new, constantly changing and undependable standard of moral conduct referred to as “situational ethics.” Now, individuals define good and evil as being adjustable according to each situation; this is in direct contrast to the proclaimed God-given absolute standard: “Thou shalt not!”—as in “Thou shalt not steal” (Ex. 20:15).
—David B. Haight

Joe Biden is a national embarrassment. He accuses his political opponents, while the truth is that he likely has an immoral heart deep inside the very essence of his soul. He shamelessly lies on the national stage, taking advantage of his high political position in the hopes that his political office will lend credence to his dishonesty. But he doesn’t seem to realize that his hopes are in vain. All he does is demean himself with his lies. The public long ago realized it made a mistake in electing Obama and Biden. Biden is history, and he knows it. But Biden intends to go down fighting. Hence the lies and the accusations on Biden’s part.

We need more integrity in government. We need to be governed by men and women who are undivided in honorable purpose, whose votes and decisions are not for sale to the highest bidder. We need as our elected and appointed officials those whose characters are unsullied, whose lives are morally clean and open, who are not devious, selfish, or weak. We need men and women of courage and honest convictions, who will stand always ready to be counted for their integrity and not compromise for expediency, lust for power, or greed; and we need a people who will appreciate and support representatives of this caliber.
—N. Eldon Tanner.

 

Biden is the perfect example of the type of person who shouldn’t be in public office. In November, 2012 we will have the opportunity to rectify the error.

Biden’s argument for remaining in office can be summed up thusly: Hope and change through dope and mange. All we are saying … is give fleas a chance.

America’s response to Biden’s sophist argument can be summed up as well: Do not ask for whom the bus rolls. It rolls for thee.

The No-Cajone Pony is Acting Stupidly

I’d give my left flipper to be the teleprompter operator on September 8th, in the year of our Pronoun-in-Chief, the Unicorn King, Precedent Uhhhhbama (Peace be upon him), OediPOTUS Wrecks, Obama-Lama-Ding-Dong, OOO (Occupant of the Oval Office; a.k.a. “Triple O”), His “O”ily-ness, the Hopiate of the Masses, Barackus Hubris Maximus, and His Travesty. Imagine His Phoniness, staring grimly at TOTUS as his speech performs linguistic cartwheels, raining on his parade.

Visualize General Zero, grandly pontificating “… while ATMs and corporate jet owners rape the means of production employed by the proletariat who are forced to sell their own labor in order to survive because they don’t have any means of production, and in their most desperate hour must engage in class struggles against the bourgeois society sprouting from [PolarCoug inserts new text here] a gigantic tamale that The First Lardass devoured in between the largest pair of lobsters ever to grace the fine chinaware in the West Wing.” Pregnant pause—panic sets in and TOTUS fast forwards past the offending passage in hopes that General Zero can hitch those dangling cajones back up from whence they most recently descended.

“We must protect jobs! We must liberate workers from the feudal lords who hold sway over their vassals, apprentices, journeymen, and serfs. We are called to a high and noble cause; to rescue [PolarCoug strikes a second time.] Debbie Downer with a Nadler burger and a side order of fries. Yes, make it a double and throw down some of that there special sauce slathered on a sesame seed bun made from the remnants of whatever holds Al Gore together these days!” The collective commies in the Joint Session of Congress go hysterical with wild cheering, right on cue, as His Imperious Majesty Barack the First, President of America, Protector of the People as Long As They Know Their Place and Belong to The Right Unions, Defender of the Privileges Accrued by Attending the Right University, and Scourge of the Rich If They Don’t Contribute To The Democratic Party stares in stunned silence at the utter gibberish that just erupted from his silver tongue and between his freshly waxed jowls.

Suddenly Chris Matthews notices that he isn’t the only Socialist-In-Residence (SIR) whose leg is suddenly and violently tingling. He orders Camera Four to zoom in on Pinocchio’s left leg. A tell-tale stain of unknown origin is snaking its way past the knee; settling in a pool inside that size-11 Salvatore Ferragamo shoe with the non-slip sole. Too bad the foot inside isn’t non-slip, too. Same goes for the sole, uh, soul. Speaking of pee, Matthews, from deep within the wretched recesses of his cankered heart, recalls “The Six Ps”—Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. He recognizes that The Gerbil President has failed to define his overall social media goals and objectives, including allowing the sheeple to kiss his ring as he towers over them, offering his all so that they might live… but then, hope! It appears that Jimmy Carter 2.0 has indeed prepared for just such a contingency and is going to his back-up plan to save him from this fall from grace. Still reading his teleprompter through the miracle of a swiveling neck, King Zero twirls around to face Vice President Joe Biden, who is regally sitting on the dias behind him.

[PolarCoug punches the appropriate button.]

“Stand up, Chuck! Let ‘em see ya!” screams BoBo the Clown. Joe sits there like a slab of unappreciated granite from the 2010 Pelosi Botex Collection, just Biden his time. “Come on, Chuck! Let the people see ya!” implores Barack Ilyich Lenin. Joe looks glued to his seat; his ass unwilling to extricate itself from the rich Corinthian leather of his high-backed executive throne. Somewhere in Ohio a horse has just given his all so that Biden wouldn’t come totally unglued at this defining moment of his completely un-illustrious career. For his part, Biden is reconsidering China’s one-child policy. “Perhaps,” he thinks, “The Soetoros had one too many kids.” Captain Clueless, unaccustomed as he is to being defied, implores Vice President Glueless one last time. “Chuck! Don’t be shy! Get up here! Let the people see ya!”

[PolarCoug adjusts the scroll knob to a moderately faster speed.]

The Chicago Charlatan’s lips quiver with excitement as the words tumble out of his oral orifice at approximately the speed of a freight train thundering down the track at the lice-infested hippie camped out at the nearest crossing guard sign. “A maggot could run against me and win in a landslide. At least it eats crap and does not spew it! If I had bent over any more to Boehner over the date of this speech Michelle was going to divorce me! If you want to know the truth I’m against jobs; unless they are controlled by the government or are ‘green’ boondoggles! And Boehner, I’m sorry about not consulting you first. But at least you’re not alone. Bela Pelosi wasn’t consulted, either. It’s still daylight. She can’t come out of her coffin until the sun goes down!” Whew! If Ear Leader had spoken any faster he would have fractured his tongue!

[PolarCoug flips a switch.]

The entire Democratic Caucus of the House of Representatives leaps to its feet, and yells “You lie!”

[PolarCoug twiddles the third knob from the left.]

“Impossible!” thunders LOLbama. “I practiced in front of the mirror in my bedroom for three weeks while Michelle threw expensive shoes at my head! Well, it wasn’t exactly my own bedroom. I was on Martha’s Vineyard livin’ the life of O’Reilly while the country went to Hand in a Hell-Basket!”

Biden stands up.

[PolarCoug calibrates the resonant frequency of the O’racle’s vocal chords against the sheen glimmering off of Biden’s newly-bleached teeth.]

“LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” screams Mister Narcissistic Personality Disorder. “LOOK. AT. ME!”

Biden looks at him.

And this is when it happened. This is the moment the entire population of the world recalled as the precise instant in time when Oblahblah won the Nobel Prize in Dumbassery. This was the highlight of the night where Barry should have spent the evening visiting Uncle OingoBoingoDUI Obama instead of preaching to Congress. This was a moment tantamount to giving Anthony Weiner an overdose of saltpeter.

Barry acted stupidly, as he had countless times before:

  • Barry, the uninvited guest who invited himself to Capitol Hill.
  • Barry, who once flipped the bird during a debate.
  • Barry, who has allowed more people to look up his nostrils than any other politico in history.
  • Barry, who secretly knows they arrested the wrong Obama.
  • Barry, whose only friend is Casey Anthony because everyone hates her too!
  • Barry, whose stimulus was a Trojan Horse. Or, was it that the Trojan was a stimulus horse?
  • Barry, whose manufacturer forgot to include an ample supply of barf bags.
  • Barry, who watched the oceans rise and the earth crack; the total opposite of what he promised.
  • Barry, whom General George S. Patton should have slapped instead of an enlisted man.
  • Barry, who put the BS in joBS.
  • Barry, who won the Arab Spring—one lobster at a time.

And what was it that Obama did that was worthy of such notoriety?

You’ll be disappointed to learn that it’s really quite anti-climactic (pun intended) considering all of the foreplay we just went through. Obama simply realized he was having an election that was lasting for more than four hours!

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ When Cameron was in Egypt’s land…let my Weiner go! ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

(◑‿◐)

Thank you, Mister Speaker, for suddenly growing a pair. Savor the moment, and don’t be afraid to use them again.

Obama put the BS in joBS

Okay, so you’ve all heard Irene is heading straight at Mister O’Wonderful’s vacation hideout on Martha’s Vineyard. Now, assuming he doesn’t cut-n-run (doubtful) we will see the spectacle of Irene transforming Mister O’Wonderful into Ilean out on the fifth hole. This tasty sight would dispel the notion that Mister O’Wonderful is a centrist. It would be blatantly clear to even the socialist Captain Obvious Bernie Sanders that O’Wonderful leans to the left. Oh, pardon me. He doesn’t lean. Ilean.

But Irene is nothing more than a minor bother to the Lobster Twins despite the predicted giant sucking sounds for Massachusetts this weekend. The real hurricane is gaining strength out in flyover country and the computer models are predicting a direct hit on November 2, 2012. Hurricane forecasters are pointing out that those hurricanes in the Northern Hemisphere spin counterclockwise. For those of you in Queens that means to the right! Don’t get confused, folks— its circular reasoning. We don’t need a weatherman to tell us which way the wind blows… but enough about Bill Ayers.

For all you liberals still in denial, I suggest you forget your troubles for a while and go see a movie. Uh, never mind, chances are that you would just see Patton slap Obama this time around. Hey, isn’t revisionist history wonderful! Anyway, back to November 2nd next year. Obama better hope that he doesn’t have an election lasting more than four hours. Why, you ask? This is why, America …

(__!__) <—– Before Obama, (__O__) <—– After Obama.

Obama has things so fouled up now the Kenyans are saying he was born in the United States. Seriously, my commie friends—I’m just trying to cheer you up. Like you, I’m waiting with baited breath (I am a penguin, after all) to hear that O’Lobster has his claws completely around this jobs thing. But no matter what spews forth from O’Lobster’s pie-hole next month… Never fear! Barry’s got a plan to run the whole economy on rainbow-colored unicorn farts.

Mister O'Wonderful

Mister O’Wonderful

Don’t laugh, I’m serious. Barry and the Banking Queen, Barney Frank, have been squirreled away for weeks now with a laser-like focus on jobs. They’re being proactive. They’re thinking strategically. They’re thinking outside the bun! The danger, of course, is that given his track record, Barney Frank will be tempted to lead from behind. Poor Barney Frank, he’s in over his head. Oh, in the interest of full disclosure I must reveal that this opinion piece has been paid for by the Committee to Erect Anthony Weiner. Sheesh, I heard it through the grapevine that Barney Frank has a staff infection. (I really kill me sometimes!) Sorry, I got off topic there for a bit. Back to more serious news. Anthony Weiner: Wasn’t he the subject of what we were talking about somewhere in the middle of this run-on paragraph? Yes, he was! And the latest news about Weiner is that he is made from one-hundred percent pulled pork! What’s the point? Oh yeah, paragraphs are supposed to have a topic sentence and everything else in the paragraph is supposed to support that topic sentence, right? Well, there’s not much I can do about the sentences I’ve already penned but I’ll get back on topic with the concluding sentence in this grammatical nightmare (Sorry about the dangling participle there, Weiner). Here goes nothing. Barack Obama has the brain of a turkey and I’ll bet the turkey was glad to be rid of it.

The Democrats 2012 campaign strategy: If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with Barack. It has been quite enlightening for those of us who are conservatives to learn about ATM economics. What an education! Oh, the soaring rhetoric that spills from the lips of the Chicago Messiah whenever he speaks about those evil ATMs. But let us cut to the chase about Automatic Teller Machines. Obama’s real problem is that the ATM does not give out money based on a worker’s need and thus is an instrument of oppression. It isn’t like Obama can’t solve this ATM tragedy if he really wants to. Laws that liberals don’t like aren’t really laws, they’re just worded wrong. So Obama can just ignore banking laws in the same manner he ignores court decisions about the unconstitutionality of ObamaCare. He can simply do whatever he wants while we, the great masses of the unwashed, just keep wasting away again down in Obamaville. With fiends like Obama who needs an enema?

Sorry for this disjointed piece of prose. But, you know, you have to be real and these thoughts just keep tumbling out of my brain. It’s a matter of medical health for me. You see, if I don’t write these things down as they spill out of my cranium I end up feeling repressed. And you don’t want a repressed penguin on the loose, do you? So, here is the disjointed thought for this paragraph. The thought I am about to express had its origin in the second paragraph when I brought up the subject of Massachusetts. It sort of wiggled its way out of my frontal lobe and morphed into what you are about to read. Okay, here it is, brain dump time… Gee, someone cheated on a Kennedy…isn’t it usually the other way around? (Sorry, Arnold)

That last paragraph really moved me. Speaking of earthquakes, I hope future quakes create more land. Maybe, just maybe, a new “America” will form and we can have New New York!

Let us conclude with Obama’s job performance, or lack thereof, which is the underlying cause of the hurricane heading straight for a polling booth near you. You need a job and Barry’s just been busy winning the ‘Arab Spring’, one lobster at a time. You want secure borders but are left wondering if man evolved from apes then how do you explain Janet Napolitano? China has a one child policy and we have a one Biden policy. We’re told to watch what we eat while The First Lardass of the United States is swigging premium vodka, devouring lobster, and getting luxurious massages all on our dime. And don’t even get me started on her personal jet for the trip to Martha’s Vineyard. But (butt?) I will excuse that indiscretion this one time because I’m sure the Air Force has weight load limitations on those puny 747s they call Air Force One.

Between campaign appearances, there is no Barack Obama. Barack Obama, the man of a thousand excuses. So, Mister O’Wonderful, is it true that the people who live there on the island can get jobs as instructors at the Kennedy Community Diving and Swim Center in Chappaquiddick?

Hey, Barry! Copernicus called. He said you’re not the center of the universe!

Everybody, get your Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle loaded and hunker down.

And lest you think it is just conservatives that are sick of Barry, today’s news is that Richard Trumpka of AFL-CIO fame is threatening to withdraw union funding from the Democrats. See what happens when you do not vet your candidate, Kool-Aid drinker? Obama is going to plead with Trumpka, arguing that he inherited a mess. But the fact is that he begged for the job knowing that fact. Is he insane? Yes.

But, enough about Barry; next time we will discuss the other half of the Lobster Twins. We’ll all learn why Michelle is a perfect example of taxidermy gone wrong. Stuff it, Barry. Stuff it, Michelle. Stuff it, Joe Biden. Stuff it, Debbie Downer. And, “You first,” Maxine Waters.

Perhaps, now that the Libya conflict is winding down Barry will decide to attack Norway. Forget it, Barry. We can’t afjoird it!

Remember, America, you can’t fix stupid, but you can vote it out.

Stimulus 2011: Road to Hell to be Repaved

The road to hell is paved with good intentions and the Obama administration is announcing that in an effort to stimulate the economy, they will be upgrading that oft-used road to a highway.

A White House spokesman said, “Considering our failures in Libya, Egypt, Obamacare, Afghanistan, food stamps, stimulus, immigration and GM, we’re going to focus on America and infrastructure in a very real way.”

The recent stimulus bill was an abysmal failure. Many liberal analysts say that the first effort was both too small and too widespread to be effective. In a White House press briefing, a spokesman explains how this new initiative fixes both of those issues.

The president feels that we should do one massive project. This will be the most-important government infrastructure undertaking since the bridge to nowhere – which was a complete success – and the Cross-Florida barge canal.

We have decided to spend the sum total of the federal transportation fund on a long-neglected roadway. The road to Hell.

Considering that the last stimulus was not large enough, and our incredibly bad numbers in the polls, we felt it to be the right time to focus on infrastructure that America needs – and clearly this country is on this particular road.

We have spent the first 3 years of this term in office driving America down the road to hell and we are pleased to announce that it will soon be a superhighway.

In a change of policy, the administration is also planning to pay for the project using the questionable approach of a public-private partnership. Beelzebub, inc will be financing roughly 51% of the project in exchange for 330 million souls. The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) says that it is impossible to estimate the cost to taxpayers as they “have only put a value on an actual human life. The government does not currently believe that there is any value in the human soul.”

The agreement is being crafted in Congress as the Hades-America Free Trade Agreement (HAFTA). Joe Biden joked that they are “doing this big f*%$ing deal because we HAFTA.. get it? [snort]”.

In response to claims that the administration is selling Americans down the river, a White House official responded, “no, we’re not building a river.”

This post is satire, pure fiction, and an absolute figment of the author’s imagination.

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