If you have any teenage daughters in the room, you might want to give them $50 and send them to the mall.

When Michelle Ray linked me to a Russian campaign ad from Vladimir Putin that slutted up the dictator’s 2012 re-election tour, something instantly seemed familiar. I had seen the ad before and knew the meme to be precisely (slap) identical. Being fluent in Russian, I can verify that it is the same idea.

The title of this masterpiece is “Opening women up for their first time.” The video translation of “elect” should be “candidate.” The closing of the ad says: “Putin: First Time — Only for Love.”

And just in case you thought that was a “fluke”:

This one is called “Russian Beauty Describes Her First Time.” The weird phrases “Safe as houses” translates to “solid as a rock.” But wait, the Vladdy Daddy gets even more suggestive:

The phrase in the middle is “Let’s Do It Together.” At the end: “Elections December 4th.” The English-language music is really ironic.

So what’s next for the Obama campaign? We’ve had the war on women, war on dogs, Bane capital, Mitt hates cookies, taxathon, Julia, vote your lady parts, Big Bird, binders full of women, bayonets and horses, and now, a creepy college girl’s “first time” confession. Now, that’s flexibility.

Let’s give some love to Larry O’Connor and give him congratulations (and stuff) in the comments!