Tag Archives: Barack

The Progressive Bible: Obama’s Genesis

1:1 In the beginning Obama promised to create a heaven on earth.

1:2 And his believers’ minds were without form, and void; and awe-struck looks were upon the faces of the asleep. And the Spirit of Obama moved upon the faces of the believers.

1:3 And Obama said, Let there be debt: and there was debt.

1:4 And Obama saw the debt, that it was good: and Obama divided the debt among the producers.

1:5 And Obama called the debt Stimulus, and the taxes he called “skin in the game.” And the evening and the morning were the first day.

1:6 And Obama said, Let there be a massive new entitlement in the midst of the recession, and let it divide the healthcare bill among the insured and the uninsured.

1:7 And Obama made the entitlement, and divided the bill among the insured and the uninsured: and it was so.

1:8 And Obama called the entitlement Obamacare. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

1:9 And Obama said, Let the union thugs under the bosses be gathered together unto one place, and let us nationalize GM: and it was so.

1:10 And Obama called the nationalized entity Government Motors; and the gathering together of the unions he called community organizing: and Obama saw that it was good.

1:11 And Obama said, Let the earth bring forth ACORN, the herb-smoking agitators, and the fruity radicals yielding fruitcakes after their own kind, whose seed of destruction is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

1:12 And the earth brought forth radicals like blades of grass, and herb-smoking agitators after his kind, and the ACORN yielding fruitcakes, whose seed of destruction was in itself, after his kind: and Obama saw that it was good.

1:13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.

1:14 And Obama said, Let there be wealth redistribution in the firmament of the heavens to divide the clean from the unclean; and let there be a sin, to blame man for the seasons, and for hot days, and warm years:

1:15 And because of this sin let us command that lights with screwy filaments give light upon the earth: and it was so.

1:16 And Obama subsidized these lightbulbs; so that all but GE might rue the day, and that poor reading light might rule the night: he made Snooki a star also.

1:17 And Obama set these lights in all the government offices and schools to give pale light upon the earth,

1:18 And the masses could barely distinguish the day from the night, and the light from the darkness: and Obama saw that it was good.

1:19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

1:20 And Obama said, Let the Gulf waters bring forth abundantly a crude oil; and because of this oil let us seize assets with undue haste and re-establish the moratorium on offshore drilling.

1:21 And Obama lamented the great whales, and moaned over every slimy creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every oily fowl after his kind: and Obama saw that it was good.

1:22 And Obama blessed them, saying, Be pitiful, and multiply, and after the waters are filled with oil, let the oil dissipate and let us quickly move on to the next crisis without lifting the moratorium.

1:23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

1:24 And Obama said, Let the earth bring forth the Islamic radical after his kind, jihadists, and Muslim fanatic, and terrorist suicide-bombers after his kind: and it was so.

1:25 And Obama called forth the Islamic radical after his kind, and jihadists after their kind, and every Muslim fanatic upon the earth after his kind: and Obama saw that it was good.

1:26 And Obama said, Let us make the Islamic radical in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the courts of law, and over the military rules of engagement, and over the mosque at Ground Zero, and over all the earth, and over every creepy thing that creepeth upon the earth.

1:27 So Obama created Muslims in his own image, in the image of Obama created he him; bloodthirsty male and oppressed female created he them.

1:28 And Obama blessed them, and he said unto them, Be vengeful, and multiply, and subjugate the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the infidel, and over the racist warmongers, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

1:29 And Obama said, Behold, I have given you every opportunity to wreak havoc, which is upon the face of all the earth, and have opened my arms to you, in the spirit of tolerance and diversity; in the guise of peace we will offer you their defeat.

1:30 And to every non-believer, and to every infidel, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have offered you defeat: and it was so.

1:31 And Obama saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

2:1 Thus the United States and the West were finished, and all the host of them.

2:2 And on the seventh day Obama ended his work which he had made; and he played golf from all his destruction which he had made.

Editor’s Note: In the spirit of X-mas, the secular religion of big government needs a new Messianic story to replace the old, worn-out stories about the prophet Jesus. What better figure to replace the old Messiah than Barack Obama?

So from Genesis to Revelation, what was the greatest story ever told will now become the new-and-improved politically correct version of the Bible — published in easy-to-read installments. Spread the gospel of government spending — Barack Obama, Superstar performing the miracle of turning unlimited debt into unimaginable prosperity!

DNC Schedule: Day 3

9 a.m.-10 a.m.: Morning Prayer Gathering (Room 211AB/212AB).

10 a.m.-2 p.m.: Caucus Session 1. Women’s Caucus (Ballroom ABC).

2 p.m.-4 p.m.: Caucus Session 3. Rural Council (Room 203AB).

11:35 a.m.: First lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden will speak at the Women’s Caucus Meeting.

11:45 a.m.: International Leaders Forum: Madeleine Albright; Michele Flournoy; Jack Lew, White House chief of staff.

12 p.m.-2 p.m.: Caucus Session 2. LGBT Caucus (Room 203AB). Senior Council (Room 211AB/212AB).

12:10 p.m.: Dr. Jill Biden will speak at the LGBT Caucus meeting.

1 p.m.-3 p.m.: The Rev. Al Sharpton and the National Action Network will host the nation’s prominent black clergy and civil rights leaders at NAN’s ministers’ luncheon to declare a state of emergency over voter suppression. Participants: the Rev. Al Sharpton, president of NAN and MSNBC host; Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus; the Rev. Dr. W. Franklyn Richardson, chairman of the Conference of National Black Churches; the Rev. Freddie Haynes, senior pastor of Friendship-West Baptist Church; Roslyn Brock, chairwoman of the NAACP; John Kee, gospel singer.

2 p.m.-4 p.m.: “Electoral Dysfunction” screening — After discovering that the Constitution does not guarantee the right to vote, political humorist CBS correspondent Mo Rocca sets out on a road trip to see how voting works — and doesn’t work — in America.

8 p.m.: Web-only convention special hosted by actor Kal Penn that will include interviews with campaign officials and guests, including Marc Anthony, Elizabeth Banks, Aisha Tyler, Olivia Wilde, Fran Drescher, Zach Braff and Alexis Bledel.

The 2012 Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina

Obama Plays Basketball… His Face Is On The Basketball

If you thought the president was going to have trouble making money when he left the White House, then you haven’t seen jack.  Or you haven’t seen this basketball.  At least now the First Lady knows what to get him for his birthday.  Customized golf balls.

From ABC.com:

Using a special basketball festooned with his own image, President Obama shot some hoop today with former NBA players, Harlem Globetrotters and kids attending the White House Easter Egg Hunt.

The “Shoot for Strength” activity took place on the White House basketball court, where Daryll “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins and legendary shooting guard Mitch Richmond joined Globetrotters’ Herb Lang, Fatima Maddox, Jacob Tucker and Wun Versher to conduct drills with kids. The drill consisted of the kids doing pushups every time the professional players or President Obama scored.

In his first three shots he went 0 for 3. He missed seven shots before sinking his first.

The kids switched with the shooters, and the president dropped to the ground to do some pushups.

“Somebody saw me cheating on my pushups,” the president joked.

He then moved on to tennis with Chris Evert. The tennis balls did not have his image on them.

“Four more years,” one woman said as he left the court.

“With your help,” he said.

-Jake Tapper

Technology Site, Gizmodo, Mocks Conservatives

Whenever you stumble upon a website, Twitter account, or Facebook page that posts “LOL! GOP!”, you know you’ve wandered into unfriendly territory.  This is terminology that’s used by people who consider John Stewart’s comedy to be “sophisticated”.  And more often than not, they’re not as interested in the truth as they are mocking conservatives.

So imagine my surprise, when I came across this post on Gizmodo.com:  How Conservatives Made #iLikeObamaCare The Number One Topic On Twitter.  In case you didn’t know, Gizmodo is a site where one would normally go to find out what the next iPhone might look like or other such random tech news.  And while stories involving Twitter technically are technology news, it seems strange that they’d choose one with such political overtones.

 

***Update**

If you scroll to the bottom of the page, you’ll notice that Gizmodo is part of a family of websites that includes Gawker.com.  Gawker has been known to have bad blood with conservative outlets such as Fox News Channel, so maybe that has something to do with the seemingly odd dig.

The Road We’ve Traveled: Barack Obama’s 17 Min Hollywood Style Campaign Video

From the BarackObamaDotCom YouTube Channel:

“Remember how far we’ve come. From Academy Award®-winning director Davis Guggenheim: “The Road We’ve Traveled”.

This film gives an inside look at some of the tough calls President Obama made to get our country back on track. Featuring interviews from President Bill Clinton, Mayor Rahm Emanuel, Elizabeth Warren, David Axelrod, Austan Goolsbee, and more. It’s a film everyone should see.”

Snippets From The SOTU: Obama Asks For More Power

Now I may be reading this wrong, but the last few sentences of this quote make it sound like our president is asking for Congress to grant the Executive branch (even) more powers.  (wording in bold is my emphasis)

“Some of what’s broken has to do with the way Congress does its business these days. A simple majority is no longer enough to get anything – even routine business – passed through the Senate. Neither party has been blameless in these tactics. Now both parties should put an end to it. For starters, I ask the Senate to pass a rule that all judicial and public service nominations receive a simple up or down vote within 90 days.

The executive branch also needs to change. Too often, it’s inefficient, outdated and remote. That’s why I’ve asked this Congress to grant me the authority to consolidate the federal bureaucracy so that our Government is leaner, quicker, and more responsive to the needs of the American people.”  -President Barack Obama (SOTU 2012)

Now, let’s start with the first paragraph; there are two funny statements in it.  The first one is his lament that a simple majority “can’t get anything done” anymore.  What’s funny is that when Democrats had a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate, I don’t think Barack Obama gave one thought to how “easy” or “hard” it was to get anything done, but now that the Republicans have a chance to stand their ground, methinks the president doesn’t like it so much.

The second funny thing is that he asks for “judicial and public service” nominations to receive a simple up or down vote within 90 days.  Ya know…  I just have to wonder if that request was on his mind after some recent shenanigans with a “recess appointment”.

But the not so funny thing I noticed comes at the end of that second paragraph.  When the average person hears Barack Obama says he wants to “consolidate bureaucracy” and make government “leaner” and “quicker”, they probably think it sounds reasonable.  But when I hear that statement (in its entirety), I wonder exactly what “authority” our president is asking Congress to grant him.  And when he says he wants government to be more “responsive to the needs of the American people”, I wonder what he will interpret those needs to be.  I mean not too long ago, he interpreted our needs to be stimulus for “shovel ready jobs” that didn’t exist.

SHOCKER: Obama Administration's National Emergency Test Fails

In light of disasters like Solyndra, Project Fast and Furious, and the unemployment rate, the Department of Homeland security figured it would have to step its game up, if it wanted to be recognized in this administration full of failures.  So, they botched the National Emergency Alert yesterday, and they botched it good.  ABC went so far as to ask if the alert was a “total failure”.  Check out these two videos below and tell us what you think.  One shows the EAS alert playing Lady Gaga music. (I can’t make this up)  And the other is a special video from the “president”, himself.

Lady Gaga on the EAS:

The President doing his own EAS test. (although this video has not been “confirmed” just yet)

What do you guys think?  It’s just our emergency broadcast system, right?  I mean who cares if it works?  What are your thoughts?  Let us know in the comments below or on Facebook or Twitter.

Obama's 11/9/11 Emergency Alert Test

At 2PM EST 11/9/11 The United States will have it’s First Simultaneous Nationwide Test of the Emergency Alert System.

This has Caused Conservatives some Consternation.

Luckily, we have Obama Himself to Walk Us Through the Test.

[mp3player width=300 height=75 config=fmp_jw_widget_config.xml file=http://conservativedailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Obamas-Emergency-Alert-System.mp3]

And.. the iPhone-friendly version

Obama’s Emergency Alert System Test

Taxpayer $ Spent On Obama Memoir. AWESOME!!!

Yesterday, a fellow CDN writer told you that our State Department had spent about $70,000 on copies of Barack Obama’s book, “Dreams of My Father”.  What do I think about that?  I think it’s GREAT.  I’m laughing so hard I could cry as I think about it, and I’ll tell you why…

From what I can tell, these books were bought for our U.S. embassies that we have scattered across the globe.  I decided to google “Do U.S. embassies have books?” in an effort to understand why we would be purchasing copies of Obama’s memoir for them.  It turns out that we have libraries in some of these things (embassies).  Below is a picture of what I found on one of the embassies in India’s website.

So it turns out that we have books (and libraries) in our embassies across the world.  As I thought of this, I had a somewhat evil idea cross my mind.  See… there are nearly 7 billion people on earth, and only 300 million of them are from the United States.  The rest (over 6 billion) are from various nations and continents.  And as crazy as it might sound, a lot of people on this earth don’t have the greatest appreciation for the United States, Anglo-Saxons, or anything that looks like colonialism.   As it turns out, they do, however, have an appreciation for an American President (with a Kenyan father) who grew up in Indonesia.

It crossed my mind that Obama’s book, “Dreams of My Father”, might actually be a brilliant marketing tool to have in our embassies.  And… it can even have a “Walt Disney effect”.  When you go to Disney Land, you can go to the gift store and (I assume) find a book that details how awesome Disney was, and it gives you a reason to feel like his amusement park was a good thing.  So… I imagine it helps us to have books in our embassies that feature a guy who doesn’t even seem to like America as our president.  Obama’s life story and his disposition towards America send a subliminal message to other countries.  I’m not sure that it’s one that *I* particularly appreciate, but it’s one that might resonate with young people in other parts of the world.  Basically, his book (which really “seems” to hate white people) might ultimately do us a favor in some of our foreign embassies.  I could be wrong, but it seems like having these books at American embassies might actually help us.

So before we decry the spending of $70,000 (of our hard earned tax money) on some crappy books, we should ask ourselves… “Could this actually help us in the long run?  Could it be useful to have foreigners read a book that illustrates how an ‘America-hater’ became the leader of the greatest country on earth?”.

What do you guys think?  Is $70,000 even enough money to worry about?  Or is it absolutely absurd that tax money should be used to purchase books written by our president?  Or… is this much to do about nothing?  Let us know in the comments below.  Or you can tell us on Facebook.  We’re pretty flexible like that.

I GridLocked L.A.

Hey L.A. Boys & Girls! It’s time again for our Monthly Visit from President Barack Obama!

#@$%^@^&%*!! (cheers & applause)

Our Fearless Leader will be in town to Rub Elbows with some of his Millionaire and Billionaire Friends & Donors at $35,800 apiece then he’ll head down to The O.C. on Thursday Morning where you can get a photo taken with him for a mere $10,000 a pop!

Who’s the Party of the Rich, again?

We know that makes for a Hellish Commute for some of us, but ‘The One’ decided to soothe our rattled nerves with a song.

Enjoy!

[mp3player width=250 height=100 config=fmp_jw_widget_config.xml file=http://conservativedailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/GridLockLA.mp3]

And for those without a Flash ability (you iPeople know who you are):

http://conservativedailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/GridLockLA.mp3

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