Conservative Daily News - The best news, analysis and opinion articles written by a collection of citizen journalists. Covering a range of important topics in blogs, op-ed, and news posts, these upstanding patriots are bringing back American exceptionalism with every entry..

Category: Humor/Satire

LEAKED AUDIO: Obama Tried to Get Romney to Concede Last Night!

Talented voice actor “PCam” (@pcam on twitter) put together what a phone call from President Obama to Mitt Romney asking for the former governor to concede the election might sound like.

Hurricane Sandy: Obama’s Social–Worker–in–Chief Moment

Hurricane Sandy — much like Barack Obama — turned out to be an over–hyped phenomenon that failed to deliver. Our portion of the storm in Northern Virginia was so weak the Multicultural Commissars didn’t even bother to give it a Hispanic name, like last summer’s “derecho” (formerly known as “severe thunderstorm”). I tried to lend [...]

Lab Test Finds Traces of “Date-Rape Drug,” GHB, on Lena Dunham’s 2008 Election Ballot

A recent Obama campaign ad featuring Lena Dunham, star and head writer of HBO’s hit series, Girls, likening her 2008 vote for Barack Obama to losing her virginity has come under fire as lab results uncovered traces of GHB, commonly referred to as the “date-rape drug,” on her 2008 presidential ballot. The subject campaign ad [...]

An Obama Halloween

With tensions running high so close to election day, it might be time for all of us to take a little breather, step back and have a little chuckle. So many agree that this is the most important election of our life time, but let’s not forget to enjoy some of the little things in [...]

Did You Watch the Other Debate?

Oh my.  Late night comedian Jimmy Kimmel had a clever idea. Why not ask people about the other debate, ‘the fake one’ he made up, between Michelle Obama and Ann Romney. He sent out a crew to interview people and get their take on the ‘debate’. Sure enough plenty of people were willing to share [...]

Highlights From Last Weekend’s Debate at the Historical Center (Moderated by Abraham Lincoln)

President Obama met with Governor Romney last weekend at America’s Historical Center to have a more relaxed bonus debate, and we here at CDN have the highlights from that encounter. Some critics were surprised with the comments that our president chose to make about the former governor, including one where he said that Mitt Romney [...]

The Real 2016

The People’s Commissariat of the Associated Press. Obamuary 13, 2016. General Secretary of the U.S.S.A. Comrade Obama announced a $2 sextillion economic stimulus plan to boost the ailing U.S. economy. While a $1.9 sextillion stimulus had been contemplated before, Comrade Obama’s $2 sextillion plan signifies real progress. The 53rd batch of stimulus under Obama’s second [...]

Mitt Romney Debates Candy Obama

The Commission on Presidential Debates lowered the altitude for the second contest by 5,200 feet and simultaneously dropped the level of discourse considerably farther. The candidates repeatedly interrupted each other, called one another liars and generally argued at a sixth–grade level. (Good enough for a passing under No Child Left Behind!) Yet in the end [...]

Binders Full of Women with Lady Parts in a Twist

Evil conservative men like Mitt Romney objectify women, don’t you know? It’s true! They just don’t get it that it’s important to help women in the workplace, and give them special treatment there. Women especially need help when it comes to landing jobs in government! And didn’t you know, he didn’t really ask for those [...]

Germans Prove That There Is No Global Warming

Recent evidence from Germany could put both Al Gore’s Nobel Peace Prize and his Oscar (for the film An Inconvenient Truth) in jeopardy.  These German researchers have proven without a doubt that Global Warming does not exist.  There has been no word from the scientific community on how far these reverberations will be felt.  Watch [...]

Deer Crossing???

Okay. So here’s the scoop. A radio caller is concerned about the deer crossing signs.  This says it’s a real caller in North Dakota. (You can listen to it here.) I know you won’t believe it though! Here is the call made into a funny video clip: Wait a second. I wonder if this woman [...]

Muppets Denounce Occupy Sesame Street

Ahead of the Democrat-organized million Muppet march, dissident voices in the puppet collective are speaking out against what they call shameless abuse as “props” of the Obama campaign. Prominent members of the state-enforced Muppet union staged a press conference in which the fuzzy creatures blasted the mainstream media for what they referred to as ‘gross [...]

Sesame Street: EXPOSED

Well, politics has a way of ruining things.  It’s latest victim is Sesame Street.  During last week’s presidential debate, Republican nominee Mitt Romney said that PBS and Big Bird didn’t need government funding. Little kids went ballistic. The Obama campaign actually released an addepicting Bid Bird as the head of a massive corporate criminal conspiracy. That [...]

Gargoyle Joe Is Your Debate Firewall?

What does it say about a campaign when its hope for putting a stop to a precipitous decline in the polls is Joe Biden? Last night fireman Joe was at his pompous, bloviating best in the Vice President Debate with Cong. Paul Ryan. The most memorable line in his paper thin, fact–free rebuttals came when [...]

Joe Biden: “They’re Coming To Take Me Away Ha-Haaa”

After the debate last night, the word is that the campaign is seriously considering a new campaign song for Joe Biden: the 1966 hit “They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!” by Napoleon XIV.