Conservative Daily News - The best news, analysis and opinion articles written by a collection of citizen journalists. Covering a range of important topics in blogs, op-ed, and news posts, these upstanding patriots are bringing back American exceptionalism with every entry..

Category: Humor/Satire

Why isn’t the White House concerned about record numbers of Americans getting injured?

Immigration, free cell phones for the unemployed, cuts to discretionary spending and gun control are all at the top of the President’s to-do list, but why isn’t the growing number of Americans getting injured a concern? The Social Security Administration released new figures showing that the number of Americans on disability has increased to a [...]

Scissors: The Best Defensive Weapon

Will wonders never cease? The Department of Homeland Security has come out with a video telling We the People to attack a gunman with a pair of scissors if we can’t hide or run away. http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/01/31/new-homeland-security-video-urges-americans-to-resist-shooters-with-scissors/ WOW!!! Why have I never come up with such an ingenious plan? That sounds really good to me!!!! I [...]

Jesus, Another Innocent Man Wrongly Convicted

Few pastimes are more entertaining than witnessing a smug, non–orthodox Jew giving instruction on New Testament theology to Christians. Last Saturday the most reverend Lisa Miller in her Washington Post ‘Belief Watch’ column asked readers, “Is gun ownership Christian? This puts believers at an immediate disadvantage because Christ did not spend much of his ministry [...]

Obama: We do Skeet Shooting all the Time

Huffington Post: In an interview with The New Republic, Obama refers to the “reality” of urban and rural differences on the guns issue. Obama added to that perspective by admitting that he has fired a gun. “Up at Camp David, we do skeet shooting all the time,” he said. Well, as my twitter feed says… [...]

The eHarmony/Match.com alternative: Te’ocatfish.com

It didn’t take long for the spoofs to start. YouTube Description: eHarmony has 29 levels of compatibility and Match.com thinks you can “Make Love Happen Today”… the only problem is, both companies expect you to fill out complicated dating forms that take forever to complete… We think we’ve figured out what happened to Manti Te’o… [...]

Kimmel Interviews Folks Who Already Watched Inauguration

The presidential inauguration will not take place until Monday January 21, still there are plenty of folks who are unaware of events and gullible enough to believe it already happened. It’s fun to laugh at these people but remember, they vote. PS You may also catch the misspelling of inauguration on the clip, somebody should [...]

The Debt Limit- A Guide To American Federal Debt Made Easy

A satirical look at how the debt limit applies to just one family. H/T Western Journalism

Four Smurfs Arrested in Assault

Dateline Australia. No, it was not our little friends from Saturday morning cartoons. Instead, four grown men costumed as Smurfs got into an altercation and were arrested. Apparently one Smurf (it must have been Papa, as the others are under age) asked a guy for a cigarette but then got mad when the man would [...]

Parody: I’m a Daddy and I Know it

Here’s a fun video of a dad and his five (2 plus triplets) kids. The family managed to all sit together for a short interview on Fox and Friends. Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com

The Progressive Bible: Soros and the Burning Flag

Exodus: Chapter 3 3:1 Now Soros kept the flock of Kaine, the priest of Moronia: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of Obama, even to Soetero. 3:2 And the angel of Obama appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of [...]

50 Reasons Why It Rocks to Be a Progressive in 2013

The New Year has arrived, and along with it, an epiphany of sorts. After struggling for years to be an advocate of free enterprise and limited government, it’s finally time to concede to leftists. It would be so much easier that way — just become a lefty, and instantly have positive reinforcement all around you [...]

Why It Must Be Awesome to Be Barack Obama

Conservatives are no fans of Barack Obama, but let’s admit it: it must be awesome to be this guy. Before checking to make sure this is Conservative Daily News you’re reading, consider the following top 20 list of  reasons: Although you are the most visible public figure in the world, instruct the mainstream media to [...]

The Progressive Bible: El Torre Del Babel

Chapter 11 11:1 And the whole nation was of one language, and of one speech. 11:2 And it came to pass, as illegal immigrants were drawn to Obama’s paradise, that they found a plain in the land of Arizona; and they dwelt there. 11:3 And they said one to another, in their own language, Go [...]

The Progressive Bible: Al Gore and the Yacht

Chapter 6 6:1 And it came to pass, when men began to overpopulate the face of the earth, and filthy human children were born unto them, 6:2 That the sons of Obama saw that the human children were too many; and they clamored for him to declare a one child policy. 6:3 And Obama said, [...]

NASA Johnson Style (A Gangnam Style Parody)

It’s been a rough week. Here’s a little levity sure to bring a smile. Sometimes parodies are better than the original. If you’re like me you’ll like that 1)these students are promoting science and space study as something fun and 2)you can actually understand the lyrics.