Category Archives: Joseph Harris

Politically Incorrect Limericks

Limericks are fun and can be very educational. I started writing politically incorrect limericks a few years back and the collection has grown. Only thick skinned, common sense minded folks will appreciate these. Of course, thin skinned sissified liberals will cry and whine, therefore classify yourself and get ready to either laugh or cry. I guarantee that you have never read limericks like these.
FEMINISTS
When it comes to a woman’s choice,
The feminists shout and rejoice,
For the woman’s great right,
In her expectant plight,
But the baby inside has no voice.

GLOBAL WARMING
The climate is warming, they’re crying,
Each day we get closer to frying,
But one year it’s hot,
The next year it’s not,
Methinks that somebody is lying.

COMMON SENSE SEX
When your time has come for a mate,
And you go to look for a date,
God made Adam and Eve,
Not Adam and Steve,
Common sense will help keep you straight.

NO WONDER
The media keep peddling mush,
If you question they tell you to hush.
Their ratings keep sinking,
Their fairness is stinking,
No wonder folks tune in to Rush.

JIHAD
A mixed up young man named El-Yad,
Said his prayers and practiced jihad.
But God’s name ain’t Allah,
So watch who you fallah,
Jehovah’s the true name of God.

WINDBAGS
From both parties it seems there’s no end,
It’s always the same, tax and spend,
We think we have say,
On election day,
We change bags, yet still get the same wind.

HYPOCRITES
Those people at PETA are loving,
They save baby seals from a clubbing.
For fish, birds and deer,
They shed a big tear,
But a child in the womb counts as nothing.

UNGODLY
When Johnny said a prayer at school,
Then someone cried “ACLU”.
The lawyers did swarm,
And sound the alarm,
And the many gave in to the few.

UNTOUCHABLE TEDDY
There once was a senator named Teddy,
For partying he always was ready,
He drove down a ridge,
Straight off of a bridge,
‘Cause he imbibed something strong & wetty.

LAW MAKING JUDGES
They’ve taken the law of the land,
And made it as stable as sand,
The good they reverse,
With rulings perverse,
While everything Godly gets banned.

INSANITY
Barack has a big safety net,
Called spending your way out of debt,
It’s like losing weight,
While eating just cake,
Plain sense says his plan is all wet.

MISSING LINK
A Darwinist kept checking his list,
For the link he thought others had missed.
As he looked for proof,
He forgot this truth:
You can’t find what doesn’t exist.

GUNPLAY
The liberals are after your gun,
Like you’re some Attila the Hun,
If you don’t stand and fight,
For this guaranteed right,
You’ll lose every right one by one.

If interested in receiving an E-copy of Politically Incorrect Limericks by Joseph Harris, contact me at [email protected]

Joseph Harris, [email protected] has been a college professor and pastor since 1987 and his writings have appeared on stupidpoliticians.com, WND, Sword of the Lord, Intellectual Conservative, Conservative Daily News, Canada Free Press, Land of the Free, The Post Chronicle and News America Daily.

Which Sign Should You Wear?

Which Sign Should You Wear?

The “You Might Be a Redneck If” sayings have spawned several “If” jokes over the years. Different versions have popped up from time to time. Some folks claim to be neither liberal or conservative and a few think you cannot know. If you do not know whether you are a liberal or a conservative, then you are a liberal, because a conservative has enough sense to identify and classify honestly. Liberals, on the other hand, are so dense, they don’t know whether they are washin’ or hangin’ out. Here are some identifiers, a few original, others adapted, which can help you know which sign to wear.

If you think gun control keeps guns out of the hands of criminals.

If you’re one of the three people in your town watching MSNBC or CNN.

If you break out in a cold sweat at the mention of the Constitution.

If you believe the Constitution is living but unborn babies aren’t.

If you are only tolerant of people as long as they totally agree with you.

If you really do believe Islam is a religion of peace.

If your wife is obsessed with other people’s health but can’t make you stop smoking.

If you are pro-choice but refuse to give the baby a choice over whether to live or die.

If you think occupy Wall Street protesters are sane but Tea Partiers are nuts.

If you think you should be in charge of light bulbs and school lunches.

If you think the only way to find out what is in a bill is to make it a law first.

If you really believe the main stream media is objectively reporting news.

If YOU always know what’s best for everyone else.

If you believe animals have more rights than humans.

If you can’t articulate one single word without a teleprompter.

If you think we should kill innocent babies but not execute guilty murderers.

If you think guns kill.

Joseph Harris, [email protected] has been a college professor and pastor since 1987 and his writings have appeared on stupidpoliticians.com, WND, Sword of the Lord, Intellectual Conservative, Conservative Daily News, Canada Free Press, Land of the Free, The Post Chronicle and News America Daily.

Attention Deficit Disorder……….Not

The topic of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity Disorder) can stir emotion in some, especially among parents whose children are affected. It was originally known as Minimal Brain Dysfunction. There are two basic types of ADD: (1) Passive, where the child is not hyperactive, but can’t focus and (2) Active, where the child is hyperactive along with a deficiency of attention. Plainly stated, ADD children can’t focus their attention on anything for a long time.

This disorder is legitimate, but has been exploited in the past several years. Let me give you my simplistic, rather hard, but common sense analysis on most who have been diagnosed with this disorder. Most kids will not focus their attention very long on anything unless they are already interested in it, or unless they are motivated to do so. My experience from pastoring ADD kids and their parents, being a father myself, teaching adults in college who have been diagnosed ADD and consulting with my wife (who has legitimate experience in diagnosis and treatment in this area) tells me that a lot of the kids diagnosed with ADD may not really have it. One thing they all have in common is being descended from Adam, with a predisposition to sin and rebel against authority.

How many times have you heard a parent say, ‘I just can’t do a thing with him (most ADD’s are male),” only to hear later that Jr. was just diagnosed ADD. Hold it! You mean an educated adult with life experience, and common sense (hopefully) can’t control a child? Children are lied to by their parents more than anyone else (“If you do that one more time, I’ll….….”, but they never follow through with the punishment). Kids learn early how to manipulate and threaten. Many children, whether diagnosed as ADD or not, will not perform or work at quality level unless they are motivated to do so. The method of motivation is up to the parent. Depending on the child, it may be positive reinforcement, or it may be a switch applied to the bottom or legs (Look under “rod” in the book of Proverbs for further instruction).

Am I denying the reality of ADD? Certainly not! But I am saying too many parents, when met with a little resistance from their child, listen to some liberal claptrap about attention deficiency and how kids today just can’t focus or mind. Looking for a quick fix, they whisk them off to be labeled and medicated. Now, the child may really have ADD or some other legitimate learning disorder. But the child may just be strong willed. Or the child may be a little hyperactive with a seeming deficiency of attention brought on because he’s not made to stop long enough to focus.

There is another kind of attention deficiency that often causes the “disorders” kids exhibit. I think some parents are deficient in paying attention to their kids and spending time with them. When the home is a Godly home, where the parents spend time with their children, are in charge and set boundaries and rules and enforce them with discipline and training in love and compassion, that home will have fewer “cases” of ADD children.

The Bible says TRAIN up a child. That means to bend the tree in the direction it should grow. Training requires effort and means teaching children they are accountable, and responsible for their own actions. Children are not responsible or wise enough to train themselves properly. That’s why they have parents.

Joseph Harris, [email protected] has been a college professor and pastor since 1987 and his writings have appeared on stupidpoliticians.com, WND, Sword of the Lord, Intellectual Conservative, Conservative Daily News, Canada Free Press, Land of the Free, The Post Chronicle and News America Daily.

Homosexuality is Not Normal

North Carolina is now the 31st state to approve a constitutional amendment on marriage. NC voters banned same-sex marriage, also barring legal recognition of unmarried couples by state and local governments. And now Obama has come out with a public statement exclaiming he is absolutely in favor of gay marriage. For once, I am elated at something he has done. This “evolving” position coming from Obama is more proof of how out of step with the American people he really is.

Gay marriage is an oxymoron. Nothing about it fits or works or makes sense in any way. When we stop defining issues Biblically and through common sense and began interpreting everything emotionally, the truth becomes irrelevant and insanity reigns. However, rather than focusing on gay marriage specifically, consider the irrationality of homosexuality.

Homosexuals do not match physically. There is no point in elaborating with a description of male and female anatomy. Besides, my writings are always G rated. Homosexuals, and especially men, are more susceptible to health problems, infections and a shorter life span than heterosexuals. There is conclusive proof available in studies for those who will search the internet and in libraries. People of the same sex do not fit one another physically. Have you ever noticed among homosexual men, one tends to be more masculine and the other feminine and among lesbian couples, one tends toward masculinity and the other is more feminine? This unintentional tendency to define two genders validates heterosexuality.

Homosexuals do not match emotionally. Men think and respond differently on issues because they ARE DIFFERENT. Remember the “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” book a few years back? Read the following conclusion from a totally secular and objective source (So this is not some fundamentalist Baptist preacher beating you with the Bible): Men and women are actually from the same planet, but scientists now have the first strong evidence that the emotional wiring of the sexes is fundamentally different. An almond-shaped cluster of neurons that processes experiences such as fear and aggression hooks up to contrasting brain functions in men and women at rest, the new research shows. For men, the cluster “talks with” brain regions that help them respond to sensors for what’s going on outside the body, such as the visual cortex and an area that coordinates motor actions. For women, the cluster communicates with brain regions that help them respond to sensors inside the body, such as the insular cortex and hypothalamus. These areas tune in to and regulate women’s hormones, heart rate, blood pressure, digestion and respiration. http://www.livescience.com/4085-emotional-wiring-men-women.html Homosexuals have a lower level of good emotional health, self-esteem and general mental and emotional stability, with higher levels of depression, than heterosexuals.
Homosexuals cannot naturally and normally fulfill the fundamental desire inherent in both sexes to reproduce. Homosexuals love to counter this with cases of infertility among normal couples and how they do not have to accept childlessness because of medical breakthroughs and adoption options. What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? The majority of heterosexual couples are fertile and do conceive and have children with no medical or adoption assistance and only a minority have fertility problems. However, 100 % of homosexual couples cannot conceive normally. Reason? They are not supposed to because men and men and women and women were not designed to marry and have children. Sex is a means to an end and that end is reproduction.
Homosexuality makes no sense. It is illogical. Homosexual sex is irrational, aberrant, immoral, destructive and defies common sense. The majority of people are not homosexual, and are not born that way. In one study, a considerably higher number of homosexual men and women were sexually molested as children (46% of the homosexual men questioned in contrast to 7% of the heterosexual men reported homosexual molestation. 22% of lesbian women in contrast to 1% of heterosexual women reported homosexual molestation). Also, bad parental relationships have a bearing on the cause of homosexuality. However, God designed us to be heterosexual and nothing will ever change this.

Joseph Harris, [email protected] has been a college professor and pastor since 1987 and his writings have appeared on stupidpoliticians.com, WND, Sword of the Lord, Intellectual Conservative, Conservative Daily News, Canada Free Press, Land of the Free, The Post Chronicle and News America Daily.

If Obama Wins, America Loses

I have heard a lot recently that no one really cares anymore about who is elected and that Obama is going back in. I am about ready to believe it. Is this true, that people really do not care about whether or not Obama is re-elected? I care and I care deeply. Every red blooded conservative patriotic American cares. The majority of the ones who read this care. I have followed the Obama birth certificate fiasco and been concerned about his eligibility from the beginning. I am not a nut and do not jump on every conspiracy theory wagon that rolls along, but I am objective enough to see the puzzle has some pieces missing. I have watched in amazement as Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and many other “big boys and girls” in the conservative movement ignore the evidence which clearly points to real problems for legitimacy. It may be true that most do not care about this particular issue. Liberals have their agenda, conservatives have their agenda and apparently neither group is concerned with the Constitution, integrity and truth.

A couple of months ago, I believed Obama could not get re-elected. Now I am not so sure. Chances are he will get re-elected. Reason: no one cares. Apathy reigns. The Tea Party has run its course and had its affect but now that is over. In spite of the economy tanking, gas going through the roof, and Obamacare firmly in place with more intrusion in our lives, and a national debt higher than ever, Obama will very likely go back in. It may be a narrow victory, but a victory nonetheless. If Obama wins, America loses.

Here is the other side of the coin. If Obama loses, does America automatically win? Not necessarily. If Romney wins, we are not much better off than with Obama. Same with Gingrich. If Santorum wins, we are possibly a little better off than with the first two. Since the days of Ronald Reagan, big name Republicans have repeatedly proven that there is not two shades of difference between them and the Democrats. If by some miracle, Ron Paul wins, we would certainly be on a better road constitutionally and financially, but those two areas are his only strengths. However, Ron Paul will not win because conservatives, libertarians and constitutionalists will not unite around him.
If videos were released showing Obama sacrificing children on a bloody altar, would it make a difference? Not with a sold out media to spin it differently and repackage the truth as has been so effectively done. But even without repackaging the truth, the bottom line is: people simply refuse to see the truth and many of those who do just don’t care. As long as people still have transportation, cable or satellite entertainment, internet access, the latest high tech phone and are fat and full, nothing will change. If Obama does get re-elected, the economy will eventually crash, the federal government will take over (even more), and then everyone will have to make adjustments in lifestyle. At least then, maybe America will turn back to God. God help us…… and I mean that as a prayer, not the trite saying it has become.

Joseph Harris has been a college professor and pastor since 1987 and his writings have appeared on stupidpoliticians.com, WND, Intellectual Conservative, Conservative Daily News, Canada Free Press, Land of the Free, and The Post Chronicle. [email protected]

Man’s Wisdom or God’s Wisdom?

There are only two kinds of wisdom in the world: man’s wisdom and God’s wisdom. Unfortunately the wisdom of man is today’s prevailing guide for most philosophy and practice. The wisdom of man is usually, though not always opposed to the wisdom of God. For instance, consider the human fabrication known as evolution with its explanation for the origin of man. This theory is built upon man-made science which denies the existence of God. The REAL reason men deny the existence of God is not based on intellect or evidence or lack of evidence, but rebellion. If there is a God, then all men must one day face Him and be accountable. Solution to the God problem: get rid of God by denying His existence and offer an alternative for the origin of man and the existence of the universe.

After getting rid of the existence of God, the obvious result is moral relativism, followed by lawlessness. If God, the divine lawmaker who established the standard for right and wrong, does not exist, then neither do any absolutes exist. Nothing is ever right or wrong. Lying is no longer wrong, just irritating and troublesome. Taking that which belongs to another is not stealing, but sharing the wealth. We’ve come a long way, baby.

Man’s wisdom produces illogical solutions to man’s problems, which are ultimately caused by man’s sin of rebellion against God the higher power. Consider laws that require children to be buckled in a car seat or buckled into a rear seat to avoid injury or death by an inflated air bag or crash. The ONE purpose for these laws is for PROTECTION of the life of children. Yet abortion allows children to be mercilessly slaughtered before they ever leave the womb to reach the safety of the car seat. That’s real wisdom.

Years ago, the war on drugs used the slogan “Just say no” promoting drug abstinence. Now to be honest, yet in no way condoning drug use, some drugs can be taken only once or twice with no more adverse effects on the body than overeating. But notice man’s wisdom when it comes to sexual abstinence. Instead of zero tolerance as with the drugs (just say no) the attitude was “just use a condom” yet just ONE sex act with the wrong person could lead to death. Man’s wisdom is illogical and destructive. Man, in his insatiable desire to have sex, just could not cross the line and insist on abstinence from sex, as with drugs. Liberals always love to promote sex. It is the only joy they have in life since they have no sense of humor and do not have common sense to enjoy the simple things of life.

Consider man’s wisdom concerning salvation. In I Corinthians 1, Paul wrote, “For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness, but unto us which are saved, it is the power of God.” God’s wisdom says men can receive eternal life from God based upon the death of God the Son on the cross. The central message of the preaching of the cross is SUBSTITUTION. The innocent died for the guilty, paying the debt for the guilty . . . completely . . . 100%. Man’s wisdom accepts the cross, but then adds good works, morality, church membership, confession, etc. Men are not saved by what they have done, are currently doing, or promise to do in the future. Salvation is by grace through faith to quote Rabbi Saul again. Men are saved by believing that when Jesus died on the cross, His death COMPLETELY satisfied Holy God’s wrath against the sinner, as was evidenced by God the Father raising Jesus from the dead. This belief is active, not passive and results in a changed life, II Corinthians 5:17. That’s true wisdom and it comes from God, not man.

Joseph Harris has been a college professor and pastor since 1987 and his writings have appeared on WND, Sword of the Lord, Intellectual Conservative, Conservative Daily News, Canada Free Press, Land of the Free, and The Post Chronicle. [email protected]