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Author Archives: Kyle Becker

Four Years of Hell: Life in America Under the Obama Administration


It’s been four years of hell for anyone who loves America. Barack Obama, a previously unknown candidate, came to power in America promising hope and change, and delivered only desperation and an unapologetic continuity of the failed Bush policies that have wrought uninterrupted war and unmitigated economic disaster. A little over five years ago, hardly anyone outside of Illinois had ...

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From Russia with Love: Did Putin’s “First Time” Campaign Inspire Obama’s?


Single-minded college age sluts were no doubt riveted by the vaguely homo-erotic account of a tatted tramp manlier than Justin Bieber regaling the world of “her first time” voting for Obama in one of the most disgusting, unpresidential campaign ads, ever. But was the video a sexually transmitted disease caught from Russia? If you have any teenage daughters in the ...

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The Real 2016


The People’s Commissariat of the Associated Press. Obamuary 13, 2016. General Secretary of the U.S.S.A. Comrade Obama announced a $2 sextillion economic stimulus plan to boost the ailing U.S. economy. While a $1.9 sextillion stimulus had been contemplated before, Comrade Obama’s $2 sextillion plan signifies real progress. The 53rd batch of stimulus under Obama’s second term (indefinitely extended in light ...

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Muppets Denounce Occupy Sesame Street


Ahead of the Democrat-organized million Muppet march, dissident voices in the puppet collective are speaking out against what they call shameless abuse as “props” of the Obama campaign. Prominent members of the state-enforced Muppet union staged a press conference in which the fuzzy creatures blasted the mainstream media for what they referred to as ‘gross manipulation.’ “We have a lot ...

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The Enemy is Collectivism


Politicians right and left have been fighting each other for decades over the spoils of the emerging fascist state in our midst. Polarization along Republican and Democrat party lines has not led to a stalemate, as traditional political theory might predict. The abandonment of Constitutional limitations intended to check all forms of collectivism with the enshrinement of individual rights has ...

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How to Convert Your (Psycho) Liberal Girlfriend

Young Woman with Knife --- Image by © John Rensten/zefa/Corbis

Are you trapped in a hot relationship with a progressive plaything that is 100% based on physical attraction? Do you wish that your longing for this psycho lib lover was as much for her mind as her lady parts? Well, you’re in luck. In just a few easy steps, you can illustrate to your lascivious liaison just how wrong left-wing ...

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My Life-Altering Experience at CPAC


Yes, I know it’s been a week since the CPAC festivities came to a close, but you know… hangovers. Thanks a lot to Michelle Ray and Eye Desert for the Stoli-soaked gabfests. The bill for my cirrhosis screening is in the mail. Flying into Denver during the debate drubbing of Obama on Jet Blue was quite the experience. I haven’t ...

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Mitt Romney Makes Surprise Stop at CPAC Following Debate Trouncing of Obama

Mitt Romney, Matt Romney, Craig Romney, Tagg Romney, Josh Romney

Michelle Ray, Kyle Becker and EyeDesert are covering CPAC for Conservative Daily News. Check back with CDN for more CPAC coverage! Mitt Romney made a surprise stop at CPAC Colorado, fresh off of his trouncing of Obama at the Denver debates. Flanked by four of his sons, Mitt extolled the virtues of the free enterprise system and reiterated that “trickle ...

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Yes, It Can Happen Here


Let’s forget about blame games and about parties for a moment. We American citizens are faced with an incipient tyranny of unimaginable proportions. We must confront this beast openly and honestly if we are to judge how best to contain it and counter it. There are some who may think this is merely the “paranoid style” of politics gone awry. ...

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Why the Obama Loyalty Oath Teacher Rocks

Obama_Dear Leader

The right-wing blogosphere has been a-twitter with the news that some associate prof at a community college (like that’s a real college) gave students a pledge sheet to swear eternal loyalty and fidelity to Dear Leader during… a math class. For those of you who thought liberals ran the social science and humanities, but refrained from math and the hard ...

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