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Author Archives: Brian Drake

Lessons Learned the Day I Refused to Vote

brian0

There is no worse feeling in the world than knowing your vote doesn’t count. I’m a white male conservative who lives in California, and I can hear one of you saying, “There’s your problem,” and you’re right, that is a problem. The white male conservative vote (and, for that matter, the white female conservative vote) means nothing in a state ...

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You Can’t Keep a Good Chef Down

brian0

Here’s a story of a man’s dream, how he failed, and how he bounced back. A couple of years ago a friend took me to a restaurant called Roderick’s. My pal, John, was from Memphis, and said Roderick’s made the absolute best southern bar-be-cue outside of Tennessee. He was already on a first-name basis with the owner, and introduced me ...

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Donald Sterling and the Crime of Opinion

brian0

Donald Sterling is the owner of LA Clippers basketball team who, you may recall, was allegedly caught on tape talking about how he really doesn’t like black people. His thoughts and ideas were recorded by his girl friend, who isn’t white, so he’s not a racist as long as the woman is hot. Typical white male. His family quickly issued ...

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Liberal Worry: A Good Thing for the Good Guys

brian0

Look, ma, the liberals are crying. Why are they crying, Timmy? Because America isn’t buying their crap anymore. We don’t use language like that, Timmy. Regardless of your choice of words, I came across a poll today that I think Timmy summarizes correctly, and it’s worth a mention because you’re not likely to see it mentioned elsewhere. Ben Dreyfuss, writing ...

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Cows Cause Global Warming, but Obama Has a Plan

brian0

We learn today of a new effort by the Obama administration to further curb global warming, or climate change, whatever they’re calling it now, by regulating cow flatulence. Apparently cows have a greater carbon footprint than all the SUVs in Beverly Hills, and they’re flatulence is killing us. Don’t worry; Obama has a plan. You can read about it here ...

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The Olympics Are Bush’s Fault, Too

brian0

Are you watching the Olympics? It’s not doing too badly in the ratings; in fact, the ratings for the programming are outperforming US athletes! The US beating Russia in hockey was a nice flashback to 1980, but, basically, we suck this time out. As of this writing, we’re 7th place in gold medals, our athletes are phoning it in, and ...

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Jesus is All Right With Abortion

baby

Recently a comedian named Sarah Silverman posted a video on the internet where she interviewed Jesus, or, really, a white person pretending to be Jesus, because we all know the real Jesus was an average-looking Jewish man. Sarah Silverman is obsessed with abortion, and she asked this incarnation of Jesus if killing babies was OK. Pretend Jesus said sure, no ...

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Classic Christmas Movies Where Stuff Blows Up Real Good

brian0

Merry Christmas, friends! ’tis the season to enjoy family and friends and watch sentimental slop on TV like “It’s Wonderful Life” and “A Christmas Story” which warms the heart and makes you feel good to be alive. But there are some of us who find those films anethema to our hard-boiled sensibilities and we need a little action with our ...

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My Take on Phil Robertson, Or: Christians Need to WAKE UP!!

brian0

Everybody get out your guns and point them at me, because I’m about to say something scandalous. I have no love for the Robertson family or their duck show. Seeing them on television makes me understand why Elvis put a bullet through one of his television sets back in the day. I don’t know what it is. I find them ...

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Dreams Upon a Rocketship

brian0

Perhaps you can understand when I say that as I get closer to 40, I’m starting to think about years gone by more and more, usually with “what if I had done something different” in mind, and this article about a boy who wants to be an astronaut made me think about how, at his age, I wanted almost the same thing. ...

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Don’t you Dare Talk Healthcare for the Holidays!

This is really a new low for President Box o’Rocks, and that’s saying a lot. Not only is he corrupting the country and bringing us down to a level below Canada, now he wants to hijack Christmas. He wants his Kool-Aid drinking minions to talk about how great Obamacare is during Christmas dinner. His operatives have also provided talking points and ...

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There’s Always a Scrooge

brian0

So I was almost arrested last Saturday for causing a whole heap o’ trouble. About 20 church friends and I flash-mobbed three places to sing Christmas carols, and nothing but joy was spread at the first two places. Ninety-percent of the audience ignored us but 10% joined in. You’ll always find a Scrooge somewhere, though, and when we arrived at the food ...

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The California GOP Has a Mexican!

brian0

Here in California the race for governor is already starting. So far, Tea Party candidate Tim Donnelly has announced his candidacy, and State Senator Abel Maldonado has also put up a website announcing his intentions to run for the big chair in Sacramento. There are murmurs among my Tea Party pals that Mr. Donnelly is going to have an uphill ...

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