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What I Find Offensive — Socialism

Allow me to ventilate something that’s on my chest and not worry about leftists’ precious feelings.

Racism, sexism, bigotry, homophobia, Islamophobia, misogyny and bronyism — all abhorrent in their various manifestations. (I won’t lie, I find My Little Ponies strangely erotic.) Yet none of these stupid ideas by themselves killed anyone. They were, well, stupid ideas.

Socialism as some laudable political system that is going to save us all from… work? Dumb meets deadly. And death, except when it comes to kittens and marmosets, is something I find extremely offensive.

It’s true that racism has inspired hateful bigotry and full grown men running around in white sheets and pointy hats. And no, not just Democrats. Well, mostly Democrats, but I digress.

But properly constrained within an economic system that protects property rights, and away from depraved mustached guys with Panzer tanks, then racism is a despicable ideology that leads to idiotic name-calling and not much else. It’s a fetish that grows within the vile petri dish of misguided redneck outrage, and in its most virulent form, not many places outside of that.

And that’s what racism has become in modern America in the majority of cases: a grievance of people who don’t like their feelings hurt, and not a justification for real oppression. Thank goodness all races can become super-rich millionaires simply by whacking little sticks with little balls (but enough about my sex life).

I hate racists and actual racism. There I said it. But I also hate when people misuse the charged emotions and hurt feelings the epithet “racist” provokes to advance an ulterior motive — say, socialism.

Oh, I’m sorry. Am I allowed to say “socialism”? Or has that become one of those unmentionable ‘isms’? We could switch to progressivism, if you’d prefer. That’s the watered-down Kool-aid form, the Flavor Aid of socialism, if you will. (I’m sorry if you found that remark racist. Alright, no I’m not.)

Socialism is pretty much the opposite of everything America stands for. Individual rights for all kinds of people — blacks, whites, Latinos, dwarves, midget dwarves, little people, and even freaks like me. Private property, so that other people (whether they call themselves the IRS or not) can’t steal your bling. Limited government, because who the hell is in favor of unlimited government? That’s right, progressives.

Ask a progressive when the government has gone too far and she’s likely to tell you that it stops at her bedroom. Or the womb. Except if it’s springing for a case of Magnums and a bottle of Fire & Ice lubrigel — then it’s party on!

What progressives don’t get is that in order to buy those Democrat pleasure packs (which will be handed out by Sandra Fluke at the next convention) ‘government’ had to slink into someone’s bedroom like a sexy Anne Hathaway in full black leather bodysuit and knee-high glossy stilettos to slip someone’s wallet out of his side dresser drawer.

Ironically, as he dreamt about Anne Hathaway.

Anyway, the point is there is nothing sacred to a socialist government, and once you give up your economic freedom, pretty much everything else follows. You can complain all you want about Bible thumpers as you’re working on the state farm for vodka and white bread rations, but it’s likely to get you more blank stares than Honey Boo Boo accepting a Grammy for her song about Kim Kardashian. Because the tike’s belt doesn’t match her boots, the little ignoramus.

Disagreeing with a Democrat president who happens to be black is not racist. It may show an affinity for “hate facts,” but it doesn’t mean you think the white race is superior to the black race (or vice versa). It certainly isn’t offensive to point out President Obama has a suspect history of economic failure that just happens to benefit the Democrat Party. Purely by coincidence, one can be sure.

But socialism? There’s a seedy backstory to that ideology that would make even Sasha Grey blush. So we’re not supposed to talk about it, because it’s noble and stuff — at least that’s what my professors kept telling me. We’re talking poverty, and mass murder, and misery, and really bad jokes. (If I hear one more “In Russia bad joke make you” kind of joke, I’m going to beat someone’s groin area with a wiffle-ball bat. There I go again.)

The phony taking offense at anyone who doesn’t adhere to the Democrat Party line, crying racism, and sexism, and bigotry like a five-year-old with a PC version of Tourette’s syndrome, just doesn’t cut the mustard anymore. Some conservatives are on to the left’s Frankfurt School games (and no, that’s not the biennial culinary Olympics for hot dog chefs).

I’ll see your racism, and raise you an ‘ism’ — socialism. And since more than half of Democrats think it’s pretty keen, it’s legitimate to drag the hundred million skeletons out of the socialist closet. One last time. Because it’s politically useful.

The dead bodies, the broke economies, the starvation, the ruin, the shattered lives, the debt piled onto my kids’ backs, their limited futures, the ignorance of history, the blithe insistence that naysayers don’t get it — I find that all pretty offensive. And, as Greg Gutfeld might say, if you don’t agree — that probably makes you a socialist.

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  1. Jan Brown says:

    “Racism” ia an insideious monster inflicted on society & in like manner of the other ‘isms’ with it’s primary prey being the ignorant, uneducated, unaware & the yet innocent. It is the primary tool of those wishing to manipulate & propogate the agenda of a ‘select few’. It instills a fleeting moment of surperiority in the unsuspecting through ‘entitlements’ & false phrase. It propagates hate, division of families & communities, It inhibits or halts any individual thinking that does not parrot the ‘mother message’. These ‘isms’ cast stones that pave the return route to slavery of mind, body & soul…..They just ain’t no good….And a MERRY CHRISTMAS to all (there I said it)