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Satan’s Off the Hook: Guns are Responsible for Mankind’s Violent Actions

Satan can rest assured, the fall of mankind is not his fault: “The gun made us do it!”  By the way radical leftists react to guns, one would assume that is what the original Biblical translation in Genesis of mankind’s fall states.

Since the 1960’s radical leftists have been assaulting guns with the concocted phrase “assault weapons,” in order to  scare everyone into believing that owning guns automatically leads to violent crimes.

NBC’s Bob Costas used leftist propaganda in an on air tirade to attack guns, which seem to have excessively high levesl of anger. And those bullets! They have a deep desire to poke holes in people!

Human beings are incapable of assaulting others unless they possess mentally disabled guns. After all, “guns kill, not people!”

Please, one  does not need a gun to assault; a baseball bat to the knees will do the job quite well. So I’ve heard.

Bob Costas and the anti-gun crowd refuse to face facts: Had Jovan Belcher not owned a gun, he could have strangled his girlfriend to death, but the left must blame guns so leftists can assault the Second Amendment and individual liberties.

If guns truly are “assault weapons,” and it’s guns that actually kill, then lunatics should never be blamed when they go on a murderous rampage, shooting up a movie theater, right? After all, the gun did it.

 

Facts are facts: In the United States, non-gun related deaths and injuries occur at higher rates than gun injuries and deaths: “Choking and suffocation is the third leading cause of home and community death in the United States.”

Look at the causes of death by accident or murder in America:

Falls: 5,961 deaths
Fires/Burns: 4,833 deaths
Poisonings: 3,402 deaths
Drownings: 1,092 deaths
Suffocations: 823 deaths        
Other: 1,937 deaths
All Causes: 18,408 deaths

 

 

 

“In Japan, around 150 people die from hot water scalding every year.”

Let’s not forget the infamous Connecticut Wood Chipper Murder Case: The husband murdered his wife, without a gun, and dismembered the body so he could put the body parts through a wood chipper to hide the crime.

So Jovan Belcher did not need a gun to kill his girlfriend; he could have poisoned her or pushed her down the stairs, and then stuffed her body into a wood chipper.

Violent people commit violent crimes with their bare hands when they don’t have weapons.

Death-by-sports injuries has high statistics.  According to Sports Illustrated, a high rate of deaths occur in baseball from head injuries caused by fast balls:

 

[N]ine minor leaguers and 111 amateur baseball players as young as eight years old have died as a result of beanings since 1887. More than 90 other players were killed either by pitches that hit other parts of their bodies, usually the chest, or by balls thrown by other fielders.

 

 

Golf has a 78% rate of injuries caused by golf clubs and balls.  That’s not including Tiger Woods’ head and face injuries caused by his club-wielding wife, who assaulted Woods, and his Cadillac Escalade, with his golf club. We can’t blame Mrs. Woods, after all, that golf club carried a lot of pent up anger against its owner.

 

Perhaps we should ban golf. That would force President Obama to go to work. On second thought, let’s keep golf legal!

What about knife related crimes? Gun-banned Great Britain has a high rate of gang related “knife crimes,”  proving gun bans never stop criminals from finding ways to commit violent crimes.

Even lamps can be used as weapons. Remember the infamous Clinton Oval Office Brass Lamp Wars? Hillary Clinton never used a gun to get even with Bill Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky; Hillary assaulted Bill with a lamp-to-the head.

I say we ban Hillary Clinton!

Look how nature assaults human beings.  Snow storms create hazardous roads, causing car accidents, trees fall on cars and houses, killing people, high winds, floods and tsunamis wash away entire towns and islands.

According to the Daily Mirror : “COCONUTS apparently kill around 150 people every year.” Talk about anger. Tropical trees are hurling fruit at tourists!

Should we destroy the tropics?  It’s obvious from the above list that Global Warming is not the problem; Mother Nature is moody.

Next:  Great Britain’s Metro reports:

Falls from trees account for 1,200 cases, while 170 are admitted after falling from cliffs. In total, falls accounted for almost 460,000 hospital admissions from March last year to February this year, up by 18,700 on the previous 12 months.

 

Should we cut down every tree in existence to save us from being hurled from trees that don’t want us climbing them? It’s obvious trees are a threat. As to the problem with cliffs being perpetrators of accidents, we should ban cliffs, that prohibition alone might save America!

 

Furthermore, Metro says:

About 20,000 people each year are admitted to accident and emergency wards in England after falling out of bed, compared with 6,400 who drop from ladders…

 

If our beds are so hell bent on throwing us off them, we should make beds illegal and sleep on floors.

But people fall on slippery floors, hitting their heads, breaking legs or injuring backs? Should we outlaw bare floors in favor of carpeted floors only? Oh wait, carpeting produces dust and mold. Carpets are trying to assault our lungs!

Cars can become assault weapons to drive over philandering husbands. Remember Clara Harris, the dentist who ran over her husband?  Technically, she didn’t kill her husband, the Mercedes did: “Harris insisted the death…[in July 2003] was an accident and that she only wanted to damage the black Lincoln Navigator belonging to her husband’s receptionist turned lover, Gail Bridges.”

It’s not Harris’s fault that her Mercedes drove over her husband instead of smashing the Navigator. Harris was behind the wheel of a possessed car.

Anything can be used as a weapon. Women use handbags to the head, car keys and long finger nails to the eyes, high heels to the feet, as well as head, and knees to the groin to fight off muggers. Should America ban the female gender?  FemiNazis would no doubt support that veto if the ban includes making women grow penises and becoming the men radical feminists are determined to be.

Maybe we should ban frying pans, pipes, crow bars, rope used to lynch, two-by-fours and  hands.  Common sense says one does not need a gun to attack; the list of assault weapons is infinite. But in the mind of leftists,  guns are the only assault weapons. Unless used by terrorists to attack Israel and the West, then it’s a justified demonstration of resistance by freedom fighters.

If guns are banned, guns won’t go away. Criminals will purchase guns the way they always have–illegally. And  innocent citizens will use whatever they must to prevent violent attacks against themselves and loved ones.

Gun bans are just another way to control people, remove individual liberties and the right to protect one’s self and family.

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  1. Jon says:

    As the atrocities add up, I wonder if your resolve that easily obtainable guns are such a blessing will ever give way to sanity. Tongue in cheek comparisons of weapons made specifically to kill people to golf clubs notwithstanding, the thing I keep hearing from gun owners is if there were more people who owned guns the violent gun owners will be kept in check somehow. First, unless we find out that the shooter at the Connecticut elementary school who killed 20 children somehow fashioned his guns out of soap, then we can pretty much agree that the guns were legally purchased at some point. At what point does your right to own a gun mean I now have a responsibility to purchase a gun to protect myself from other gun owners?
    You ironically titled this essay that Satan is off the hook for these gun deaths, but gun owners for the most part do not remind me of Christ who taught his followers to turn the other cheek, not to pop a cap. I wonder between Christ and Satan who would vote for the NRA candidate?

  2. Fu#k Obama says:

    Hitler, Stalin and Mao, after banning guns and confiscating them, then banned ‘sharp’ instruments like knives, pitch forks, garden hoes etc., for your safety you know.

  3. Jan Brown says:

    You’re so right…Bought a deer rifle last year, took it home, put it in the gun case, darn thing hasn’t even gotten out of the case, much less shot deer..it just sits there waiting for me….
    How can something so simple & still not be understood also escapes me. Nice work Lisa