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Politically Incorrect Limericks

Limericks are fun and can be very educational. I started writing politically incorrect limericks a few years back and the collection has grown. Only thick skinned, common sense minded folks will appreciate these. Of course, thin skinned sissified liberals will cry and whine, therefore classify yourself and get ready to either laugh or cry. I guarantee that you have never read limericks like these.
When it comes to a woman’s choice,
The feminists shout and rejoice,
For the woman’s great right,
In her expectant plight,
But the baby inside has no voice.

The climate is warming, they’re crying,
Each day we get closer to frying,
But one year it’s hot,
The next year it’s not,
Methinks that somebody is lying.

When your time has come for a mate,
And you go to look for a date,
God made Adam and Eve,
Not Adam and Steve,
Common sense will help keep you straight.

The media keep peddling mush,
If you question they tell you to hush.
Their ratings keep sinking,
Their fairness is stinking,
No wonder folks tune in to Rush.

A mixed up young man named El-Yad,
Said his prayers and practiced jihad.
But God’s name ain’t Allah,
So watch who you fallah,
Jehovah’s the true name of God.

From both parties it seems there’s no end,
It’s always the same, tax and spend,
We think we have say,
On election day,
We change bags, yet still get the same wind.

Those people at PETA are loving,
They save baby seals from a clubbing.
For fish, birds and deer,
They shed a big tear,
But a child in the womb counts as nothing.

When Johnny said a prayer at school,
Then someone cried “ACLU”.
The lawyers did swarm,
And sound the alarm,
And the many gave in to the few.

There once was a senator named Teddy,
For partying he always was ready,
He drove down a ridge,
Straight off of a bridge,
‘Cause he imbibed something strong & wetty.

They’ve taken the law of the land,
And made it as stable as sand,
The good they reverse,
With rulings perverse,
While everything Godly gets banned.

Barack has a big safety net,
Called spending your way out of debt,
It’s like losing weight,
While eating just cake,
Plain sense says his plan is all wet.

A Darwinist kept checking his list,
For the link he thought others had missed.
As he looked for proof,
He forgot this truth:
You can’t find what doesn’t exist.

The liberals are after your gun,
Like you’re some Attila the Hun,
If you don’t stand and fight,
For this guaranteed right,
You’ll lose every right one by one.

If interested in receiving an E-copy of Politically Incorrect Limericks by Joseph Harris, contact me at [email protected]

Joseph Harris, [email protected] has been a college professor and pastor since 1987 and his writings have appeared on, WND, Sword of the Lord, Intellectual Conservative, Conservative Daily News, Canada Free Press, Land of the Free, The Post Chronicle and News America Daily.

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  1. If fine things you’re rare’n to see em,
    Your nights in a terrace museum,
    It seems beneficial,
    to be an official,
    on Biden’s new Paris per diem.

  2. When Ted and Diane let er rip,
    He severed her points at the hip,
    Cuz her mirror sees Einstein,
    But clearly Ms. Feinstein,
    Is ‘several shells short of a clip’.

  3. Now that Francis is Vatican’s ‘One’,
    Has chance for romancin begun,
    For Fathers to wed,
    Or will Pontiff instead,
    Say chance of romancin is Nun.

  4. Mr. Bloomberg is feeling dismay over,
    The chance of a citizen’s say over,
    His weight and his drinks,
    But the thinks,
    Can plant one while we’re bendin way over.

  5. His peers were bemoaning the mention,
    When hearing his tone of dissension,
    But while Paul got em furious,
    What’s all got us curious,
    Is serious drone of contention.

  6. While our debt just continues to fester,
    We stress on the toll of sequester,
    Cuz we’re weak and we’re pander’en,
    will be speakin the Mandarin,
    At behest of ‘controlling investor’.

  7. Did ‘The Mouth’ have distorted idea,
    He’d sound like ‘the Lord of Judea’,
    Cuz ‘Pistons were missin’,
    When Dennis was kissin,
    The ‘South End of Northern Korea’.

  8. Mr. Hagle has quickly exhibited,
    He’s tired of the hick who’s inhibited,
    From telling our nemesis,
    Shelling our premesis,
    That firearms are strictly prohibited.

  9. They whine of the costly expense,
    From climb in the cost of defense,
    but idle the speakers,
    On entitlement seekers,
    A climbin across’a da fence.