Review: Alfonzo Rachel and His "Weapon of A.S.S. Destruction"

“Being a black and white kind of person is a good thing”.  This is how conservative pundit and musician Alfonzo Rachel begins his new audio book, Weapon of A.S.S. Destruction.  Rachel goes on to assert that the nuanced grey area most liberals pride themselves on living in is no more than a fog that blurs sound judgement and clear vision.  There’s no blurring of the lines happening in this audio book.  Rachel spends fifteen chapters carefully laying out his argument for conservatism and why it is a principle that he believes fits squarely with both his faith and his race.

As a Black conservative, Rachel has seen and heard his fair share of insults.  While the left obsesses over the supposed racism in conservative “code words” such as ‘basketball’ and ‘food stamps’, they are not shy about openly calling Black pundits on the right brainwashed, sell-outs, porch-monkeys, house Negros (or worse, if the person doing the insulting happens to be Black and therefore officially “allowed” to use the n-word) and Uncle Toms.  Alfonzo Rachel wholly rejects all those labels but one: Uncle Tom.  He reminds readers that Uncle Tom was a slave who rebelled against his masters, refused to beat his own people, and sacrificed his own safety for the freedom of other slaves.  In the book, Uncle Tom is a hero who was despised by his slave brethren who had been appointed “overseers” for the master.  Somehow, over the years the left has completely twisted this heroic character into an insult that means the exact opposite of who and what Uncle Tom truly represented.

Rachel spends the bulk of his time in this book untwisting the liberal narrative on the Republican party and conservatism in general.  With humor, biting wit and extremely well-researched sources, he carefully lays out the history of the GOP in the United States, as well as the disturbing and dirty past of the Democrat party.  Haven’t you ever wondered just how the party that freed the slaves and passed civil rights legislation somehow became saddled with the Jim Crow label of the actual party of Jim Crow – the Democrats? Rachel lays that history out bare and dares the listener dispute the facts.

This, however, is not just a book about politics; it is also about faith -the role it has played in Rachel’s life and in the evolution of America.  Strands of the faith of the Founding Fathers and Judeo-Christian values are seamlessly woven into a discussion about topics that affect every American life – abortion, family structure, capitalism, etc.  I asked Rachel if he worried that his boldness about his faith as a Christian would turn people off.  “I can’t worry about that,” he responded. “If I were to separate my faith from my politics then I really would be the sellout people accuse me of being. I will not sell out my God and I will not sell out my country.”

Far from selling out, Alfonzo Rachel has created a firm and often humorous defense of conservatism, America and faith.  He even includes some original music for our listening pleasure.  “Right Wingin’ Woman” is sure to become an instant classic – “I’m diggin’ you in your conservative skirt; Makes me so excited that it almost hurts; You’re the kind of woman that I want for my wife; You’re a real woman cuz you’re pro-life”.  The song alone is worth the price of admission, trust me.  Don’t be deceived by the title, the book isn’t crass.  The A.S.S. in the title is actually symbolic and an acronym: it represents the symbol of the Democrat party and also stands for American Socialist States, which is where he believes the Democrats are trying to take us.

Weapon of A.S.S. Destruction is currently only available in audio form, although the author does plan a printed release in the near future.  This is really a story better told aloud anyway.  Rachel’s voice, expression and musical contributions bring the content to life in a way that will have you laughing out loud and wanting to pull your hair out in frustration at the same time.  Its a fun, easy listen; great for the commute to work.  Just be sure to suppress that urge to applaud when Rachel says out loud what most conservatives only wish they could say so succinctly.  Hands on the wheel!  Ten and two folks…ten and two.  Weapon of A.S.S. Destruction will be available for download January 27th.