If you don't like my candidate – the movement is DOOOOMED!!
Whether you’re a Ronulan Paulbot, Mitten, Newtonian, or whatever interesting name that has been bestowed upon you for supporting a certain GOP candidate – the result is the same – your choice for President is the reason the progressives will win. It is clearly your fault and you’re an idiot.
Here’s a quick chart to show why you’re wrong for supporting whichever GOP candidate you are considering for the primaries/caucuses:
|Candidate||Negative Aspects||What supporting them makes you|
|Michele Bachmann||Really hung up on Perry’s gaurdasil thing||| Perry Hater|
|Herman Cain||Accused of multiple sexual improprieties and lack of foreign policy experience||| Misogynistic|
|Newt Gingrich||Infidelity, life-time politician, establishment candidate||| “NEO-CON REPUBLICAN” (say it angrily while gnashing your teeth)|
|Jon Huntsman||Voted for debt-ceiling increase, supported greenhouse gas caps||| Centrist/Moderate/Chinese|
|Gary Johnson||Unknown outside of his state and whines a bit about the attention he feels he deserves||| Lonely|
|Ron Paul||Foreign policy considered idealistic/naive||| Ronulan/Paulbot (say while rolling your eyes)|
|Rick Perry||Guardasil order and “oops”||| Stupid|
|Mitt Romney||Flip-flopped on cap-and-trade, the stimulus and more||| Liberal|
|Rick Santorum||Spends a lot of his debate time attacking other candidates instead of talking
about his stances on the issues
|| wasting your vote|
|Barack Obama||Trillion dollar healthcare mess, cut revenues for social security, inflamed class warfare,
Re-energized the war in Afghanistan, started Libya, handed Egypt to the Muslim Brotherhood,
weak on Iran, trillions in debt, failed green energy policy…
|| What other choice do you really have? Those Republican candidates
are all crazy, stupid or women haters. Obama is none of those things.
All of the GOP candidates are wrong for America for one reason or another. We can all agree that each of our candidates is better than the others for the listed (or other) reasons.
As independents evaluate the GOP field and their documented weaknesses, they will be able to come to one, precise, obvious and planned deduction – Obama is the only choice that doesn’t harm the Conservative/TEA Party/GOP movement(s).
editors note: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!