Did I just see on GBTV last night that Glenn Beck plans to build an amusement park in Dallas? Then why was he talking about underground roads in Walt Disney Land and the layout of homes and businesses at Epcot and why was that important?
As you may or may not know, last night was Glenn’s last broadcast of his new GBTV show from the studio in New York City before the big move to Texas. His life is full of transitions now it seems. He left Fox News and now he’s left the city all together. He bid NYC adieu and described his love-hate relationship with that city. Goodbye rats. Goodbye neighbors who harassed him in elevators. Goodbye historic skyline.
I’ve been watching this experiment of Glenn’s called GBTV this last year with great interest. As I have done so I think I’ve seen a change in Glenn, from mild mannered Fox News host to mad genius. He reminds me of that little character in Lilo and Stitch who created the Stitch character as a weapon of mass destruction. Glenn is the guy who says, “I prefer the title of Evil Genius” and this GBTV enterprise is the ever destructive Stitch. “I would never make more than one! Bru ha ha ha ha ha ha!” Brutish laughter dies in echo as Glenn gets on the plane to the southwest. Very naughty!
Glenn Beck may well be the Howard Hughes of the Internet. He didn’t invent it, that credit goes to the Intrepid Al Gore. No, but he’s taking it to the next level. GBTV is his Spruce Goose. We don’t know how it will fly, maybe it won’t get off the ground. Maybe it will crash and burn. I for one am invested in seeing which it is. I’d like to think the wacky Mormon rodeo clown will be irritating Liberal Progressives for years to come. Hopefully he will have a better end than Hughes did.
Whatever you may say about the diabolical Glenn Beck, he is creating jobs. Maybe I could get a job at this new theme park? I could be the attendant at the Fabian Socialists’ Ride of Doom. Listeners know about his affinity for “underground rollercoaster’s” i.e. the prank he pulled on Baltimore residents in his April Fool’s Day radio creation of “Six Flags Under Baltimore”. I could give the dialogue and help riders understand the horrors they’re experiencing.
“No Madam. Kids can ride too. No height minimum. Children can fit in the gas chambers just as well as the older people.”
As we travel through the tunnel dark before emerging into a mockup city of Auswitz Death camp, I would announce to the petrified audience strapped tightly in their cars, “On the left you’ll see the swimming pool where the guards took their leisurely swims. On the right you see the pile of Jewish personal belongings, clothes and shoes discarded just before the people went into their final “shower” at the gas chamber.” Imagine the joy on the children’s faces and the admiration for theater and history from the loving parents who brought them.
Glenn’s work has been a combination of terror, mortification, entertainment, enlightenment and laughs. It will be hard for me to not have him around over the Christmas holiday. I guess I’ll just have to go to my family holiday parties and suffer through until his emergence again in January. Maybe I’ll get the latest GB book, Being George Washington, as a Christmas present? It has been difficult for me not to scoop it up from the shelf prematurely. Oh how aggravating!
Meanwhile, maybe I’ll entertain myself on Twitter and Facebook and post more wacky vids on my Pat Gray Fan Page. Oh that Pat! Without Glenn he’s the next best thing. Why do you suppose, excuse the A.D.D Moment, do you think my boys Andrew Brietbart and Glenn Beck don’t get along? Are they still miffed at each other about that Shirley Sherod thing? Can’t they just get over it and be friends again? Maybe I can create a hashtag group on Twitter and have my Twitter friends post their theories on how we can broker a peace deal between Blogger and Media Mogul? Do you remember the You Tube battle between Star Trek’s Bill Shatner and Star Wars’ Carrie Fischer? George Takei stepped in to save the day in pursuit of what he called “Star Peace”. I could be the George Takei of the blogosphere?
And fans, please, do not misread the statement above. I’m not going to Vegas to marry my boyfriend. I don’t have a boyfriend. Girlfriends good, boyfriends no. To each his own. OMG! Moving on.
Glenn Beck’s departure isn’t totally without precedent. Rush Limbaugh, the Godfather of Talk Radio, departed NYC for the paradise of Florida years ago. You think the Mayor and City Council would get the message as the job killing taxes drive many entrepreneurs from that great city. It will be hard for them to have any revenue at all to tax if they keep that up, but that’s their problem. As we have seen, New Yorkers have the double edge sword of seeing all that revenue depart while still having to deal with the slaying commentary of the Godfather of Talk emanating from his quiet beach home. I can see him now in my mind’s eye, with his feet on the desk, cigar in his mouth, laughing all the way to the bank.
Hopefully it will be the same for Glenn. I have enjoyed his rants on GBTV and I’ve enjoyed getting my news from his new news outlet, The Blaze. Amy Holmes is Hot! We need to see more of S.E. Cupp though. I miss her half-hour show. Oh well.
Did anyone see the stunning performance of Alex Boye on GBTV’s Christmas Special two nights ago? He sang “I want to walk with Jesus” on his knees. It was very moving. I had the impression of Job bemoaning his outcast state to God, or more poignant, an African-American slave doing the same. Let the Leftist talking heads call Glenn a racist. He had African-American gospel singers from the Bronx on his show! Man were they ever good! Wow. I cried like a little Glenn Beck.
His stance on Israel has been heartwarming and courageous. His adventures into comedic entrepreneurship have made me laugh till my sides hurt. His desire to help the downtrodden with his new charity, Mercury One, is ambitious as it is generous. His exposition of progressive history in the United States has been thought provoking and scary. His commentary on the real Founders has inspired me. I think we will see great things from Glenn and Co. in the future. Is it January yet? Turn the damn page!
I’m already in Glenn Beck withdrawal. What can I do?
Merry Christmas everyone, and a Happy New Year!